Jesus Dress Up

A website for your consideration:

Jesus Dress up

I'm personally a big fan of the striped red socks, but only because I want a pair.

Thanks, Katelyn.

Also, this is the second cutest thing in the world (after otters floating in the water holding hands):

Nothing to do with Jesus or YDS, but you can't really do much about it, now can you? Oh, the things you find on Google Images.

Darth Joseph

Jesus, I am your father.

Joseph... you are NOT the father!

Ok, so here's a little background into my life. My freshman year of college, my good friend Jon lived down the hall from me and we looooved Maury Povich. I can't tell you how many hours of my life I spent watching paternity tests, boot camps and makeovers. Even now, anything I find even remotely related to Maury gets sent to Jonny with a message of my undying love.



Let's just say he loved this. Thanks to Hillary who sent it in.

End of semester!

Happy End of Semester! For some of us, that's more exciting than Christmas or any other holiday - except for those in Bob Wilson seminars. Have fun writing your papers over break, suckers.

If you're at home and happen to hear something that would fit in perfectly at OH@YDS, feel free to submit it. We take anything that's funny, pretty much.

Other than that... Have excellent breaks and in the words of one of my dearest friends, make good choices!

Don't even try

(watching other students)
Student 1: Oh, I thought you were playing thumb war.
Student 2: My thumb's a pacifist. (hides thumb) I do not find your thumb worthy of just war!
Student 3: (laughs) How can I explain why that's funny to anyone outside of div school?

My hand barely survived

(On the patristics examination)
Student: Well, we survived. And I'm sure he will take that into account.


Overheard in the Commuter Lounge

Don't make me reboot you

Student, to laptop: Yes, I know the program is not responding...that is why I am trying to end task!

In the Common Room

Hey, you teach the class. Do what you want.

Jeremy Hultin: This was great! This is high-level Bible study... I wish we could do this all the time!

Overheard: NT Exam Review Session

This is one corrupt place

Student 1: I just think I should take some basic educational theory classes: modes of learning, PowerPoint, SmartBoards, all that jazz.
Dean Attridge: I've always said, power corrupts, PowerPoint corrupts absolutely!

Overheard: Advent Party

Not only have I read my Bible, I've been tested on it... so YOU talk to Nana.

Student: Wow, this Chardonnay is so redolent of honey, I'm just looking for the locusts!
Parent: Yes, dear, we get it, you've read your Bible, now go talk to Nana.

Overheard at: Family Gathering

Nooooo!

(On Valentinus' Gospel of Truth)
Christopher Beeley: Creation is an illusion.
Student (to another): So there's no Archie Moore's?

An ecumenical amen, maybe

(regarding Evangelical and Ecumenical Women's Caucus)
Randall Balmer: We know what happens when you get 'ecumenical' in there... can I get an amen?!

Overheard: Evangelicalism

Marty McFly, maybe

Student (typing): Oops. Just wrote that Marty was theotokos.

Overheard: Library

Either completely awesome or just a little freaky

This overheard is a few years old, submitted by an '04 alum:

Episcopal convert: Some of my buddies and I actually searched the phone book trying to find a sperm bank where we could donate in order to get cash to buy some beer.
Episcopal friend: When was that?
Episcopal convert: When I was at Oral Roberts.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

A forthcoming publication

1st Year MDIV: Yeah, I refrained from going into my fractal theory of the Trinity on the exam.

I'm coming to your bunker

Student: I can't wait for the apocalypse. I think I'm more prepared than most people.

Yeah, but for a while he was putting on his pants while Prime Minister

Student 1: I was going to go to that Blair lecture last week because I thought it might be my last chance, but then I didn't.
Student 2: Meh, it's just Tony Blair. He puts his pants on one leg at a time like the rest of us.

Promptness is good -most- of the time

Student 1: I sent the person I was asking for a PhD reference my materials at 9 this morning, and then all the recommendations were in by 1. I'm not offended by form letters, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Student 2: The real thing to worry about is ordering Chinese food and having it ready 5 minutes later.

Might want to mention that AFTER he grades the exams

NT student to Jeremy Hultin: Are you having a nice day? I'm not having a nice day.

Overheard: hallway, 30 minutes before NT exam

Study help from youtube

It's finals week, and I thought I would try to help out as best as I can.

For everyone in OT:



And for all you NT folks:



Here's something for History of Western Christianity:



Anyone studying Augustine:



UCC Polity:



Hope these help!

Surprised by life-giving awesomeness

Female student: Do you stock things that only women need? We're mostly prepared, but sometimes we're surprised by something other than joy, right?

Overheard: Student Book Supply

Wait until I have ketchup

Student: Lord, give me hot dogs... but not yet.

Hot flashes are almost better than a wool sweater

Student 1: It's freezing in here! Are you cold?
Female Second Career Student: I'm actually kinda warm. But keep in mind that the temperature I'm experiencing is not necessarily the same as what everyone else is.

Overheard: Niebuhr Hall

Be a fan!

If you're on Facebook, you can now be a fan of Overheard at YDS. I love you, so please love me back? I swear, if I had a nickel for every time I've said that...

You could not pitch the ball at all, I suppose

Bruce Gordon: Let me be clear on this, just because I’ve gotten a lot of emails about it. Both questions will be on the exam. You just prepare one. Is everyone clear on that? I can’t pitch the ball any slower.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

Does that mean you have to be a martyr to do well on that subject?

Student 1: I'm going to start this Modern Christian Thought paper... I'm so nervous about it, but I'm finally motivated to get started on it.
Student 2: You'll do great. You're modern and Christian and a thinker so it's perfect.

Or Romeo and Juliet

Student: Numbers is where the dude stabs the dude for banging the Moabite chick, right?

What a welcome

Current student to prospie: Who the hell are you?

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Power of the Res-erection

Student: Jesus is my stimulus package.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Do they make power blue Dr Martens?

Student: She has such a thing for the Virgin Mary... She's gay for the Virgin Mary!

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

They don't really make inflatable creches

Student: I had forgotten what secular Christmas parties were like... Santas everywhere!

A dime a dozen

Student (introducing someone): Here's a straight, single guy at div school.
Visiting Friend: Oh wow, no way!

You go first.

Student (looking around): We need some more notable people to die... the walls are kinda bare on this one side.

Overheard: Common Room

Oooh, innuendo!

Student 1: How many mailboxes are there?
Student 2: The better question is how many female boxes are there.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

What a compliment

Student: Your gloves pull off homeless Michael Jackson like no other.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Bleeding red, white and Barth

Student 1: I'm sorry, I just, I just bleed theology right now.
Student 2: I mean, look! Karl Barth is coming out of my veins!

Overheard: Coffee Hour

A rock at the foot of a tree?

Random patron: If your dog wins the Oedipal struggle...

---------------


Random patron: So I asked him, which do you want to be, a tree or a rock?



Overheard: Koffee on Audubon

Someone's working for the wrong team...

Bryan Spinks: Some say the liturgy is meant to be an earthly reflection of what happens in Heaven. In that case, I think we've all seen liturgies that would rather make us want to go to The Other Place.

Overheard: Foundations of Christian Worship

Your bible is a wonderland

Student 1: How was SBL?
Student 2: It was a Bible Wonderland!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a lovely Thanksgiving! Here's a Jesus-turkey for you:


I bet Mary's got plenty of these around the house...

Also, Word to the Wise 1: I don't know who from Princeton Theological Seminary is googling "yale divinity school gossip" but you're not going to find it on here. Keep your internet to yourself, Jersey!

Word to the Wise 2: Make sure you have safe search on when googling this phrase: jesus turkey.

I think it's a great solution

(complaining about someone on facebook)
Student 1: You know what? I'm just going to defriend him. That'll solve all my problems.
Student 2: Welcome to adulthood.

Thanks for being not square?

Willis Jenkins: Thanks for being circular today.

Overheard: Bonhoeffer and King

You must feel strongly about this

Tom Troeger: If any of you ever preach a boring sermon, may you go to hell, because there is one thing that the Gospel is not and that is boring.

I was in class and I'm not even sure I can pronounce those words

Christopher Beeley: Not all monophysites were aphthartodocetists.

Overheard: Patristics

You're so fair... I bet you think this class period is about you, 'bout you

(after a longish debate over whether an author accurately describes his own project)
Student: On page two, he says--
Gene Outka: I mean, I just--OK, yes, let's read first. We'll do the fair bit and then I'll say something later.

Overheard in: Religion and Morality

I'll try that with my final papers

(on Catcher in the Rye)
Student: Here's what I don't get about that postmodern literature... it's like they just didn't proofread and called it a new genre. They wrote on a toilet paper roll and stopped when the roll ran out.

But they do so much for your legs, even as symbols of societal expectations for women

Mike Giaquinto: It's been a long time since I've worn high heels but I remember them being not very comfortable.

The Rhineland cities don't move like those other cities

Bruce Gordon: I'm sorry... you'll see I've taken this [map] from a cruise website, but the cities haven't changed.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

Yeah, and Tron

(cuddling with friends)
Gay student: I feel like a straight man! Cuddle, my women! Make me some beans!
Female student 1: Beans?
Gay student: Is that what straight men like?

Rejection!

Student to other student: Well, it could be true and I still wouldn't sleep with you.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

I'll stand in solidarity with polar bears

Carolyn Sharp: I'm quite sure that puffins and polar bears were not part of Jeremiah's people, but you could decide that polar bears are part of your people (as a prophetic strategy of ecological solidarity).

Overheard: Scripture and Social Ethics

Because that's too easy

TA Marcus Elder: Why couldn't God have inspired something more straightforward like Plato's Timaeus?

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

And just as delish

Student discussing Cyril of Alexandria: We got a man-god on our hands... Like peanut butter and jelly in one jar.

Overheard: Patristics section

Heck yeah it has!

(singing outside classroom door)
(silence)
Gene Outka: It's Friday and the frivolousness has started already!

ˈbī-bəl, actually

Susan Olson: What are you putting out signs for? I don't understand your sign.
Joel Baden: What word don't you understand? Is it this one: bee-ble? Bib-lee?

Overheard: Outside Dale Peterson's office

With fabric softner!

Mark Miller: Do that thing, I don't know what it's called but you get real soft.

Overheard: Gospel Choir

Dale Peterson is more like the good witch!

(Dale Peterson walks in room)
Student 1: If Dale Peterson had a theme song, what would it be?
(pause)
Student 2: [sings flying monkey song from Wizard of Oz]
Student 1: [speechless]



... to the candy bowl.

"And then a whale jumped over me and I touched its belly!"

(listening to Will You Be There, the Free Willy theme song)



Student: This is my liberation theology of a six year old!

Beeley would be proud

MAR Student 1: Why do you have two name tags?

MDiv Student 1: I'm consubstantial.

Overheard: Patristics Section

Black bean or hummus? So hard.

(staring at tray of free, leftover wraps)
Student 1: Man, this is tough... Why did there have to be three choices?
Student 2: The point of this place is to challenge you.

Or Gene Simmons of the Bible

John Collins: King Solomon bedded 1100 women... he's like the Magic Johnson of the Bible.

Overheard: Chapel

TMI, personally

Student 1: What are you exegeting in Leviticus?
Second Career Student: Sex!
Student 2: Why are you doing that?
Second Career Student: Well, it's probably the closest I'm going to get!

Overheard: Section

I won't... don't worry

1st Year MAR: I won’t be home between class and church tonight, so feel free to have me not there.

A world of pasta but no tomatoes

Student 1: Why do you have so little sauce on your noodles?
Student 2: It's a feat of endurance to see how little sauce I can use... I'm the David Blaine of pasta.

If it's like 2000, you could be in there for awhile

Student: I'm going to the library until the election's over.

Overheard: Refectory

Ugh indeed

Student 1: Ugh, I have to be here till 5.
Student 2: Aw, what for?
Student 1: Stupid Jesus.

But what about the not-awesome? Screw 'em!

Student: I have a preferential option for the awesome.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

But there is a guest worker program! From where? Purgatory?

Student: I bet there are no illegal workers in heaven.

Overheard: Common Room

It's me... I just wanted to see you get confused

Student: What's that noise? Is that you? (pause) Oooh, that's me! Someone's trying to gChat with me!

Plus you'd have a sweet knight suit

Student: If I could have any job in the world, it would be the knight guarding the Holy Grail. 1: You'd be guarding the Holy Grail. 2: You'd be guarding the Holy Grail with a sword. 3: You'd have limited human contact.

Spooky, Scary

Have any really awesome religious/YDS themed Halloween costumes? Send pictures to me (lmb78 (a) pantheon.yale.edu) and I'll post them!

And then kick him, but only a little bit

C. Sharp: How do we understand "do not be too righteous" and "do not be too wicked" in Ecclesiastes 7:16-17?
Student: I don't quite understand. I mean, can I ever be just a little wicked?
C. Sharp: Like take the orphan's bread, but don't push him down?..

Overheard in: Godly Skepticism: Ecclesiastes

...Read the stuff you assign us

TA for History of Western Christianity: Have any of you read troubadour poetry? No? Oh, what do you do with your lives?!

Overheard: Section

Not Luther!

Lutheran: Who knew Lutherans could be interesting?

The interest alone is enough to snag you a date

Student 1: My grandma told me not to go for more schooling because I'll have more debt and then no one will want to marry me.
Student 2: Are you kidding, that's a turn on in grad school!
Student 1: I use it as a pick-up line at bars.
Student 2: "Hey baby, I've got xx dollars of debt."
Student 1: "Wanna come back to my place and see my loan statements?"

Sorry, YDS.... we didn't want them anyway!

Student (on seeing Overheard at YDS for the first time): I wonder how many people have decided not to come to this school because of this website.

Hard to reach places

Student 1: My problem's not with the manscaping, it's the bunnytail.
Student 2: The what?
Student 1: You know, the tuft of hair behind the balls.

- Common Room

Maybe he's a bottom

C. Sharp: Oh you know, we're just overthrowing the dominant suppressive culture narratives...
Student: I'm gay. I'm in no way dominant.

But we love you all the same!

Student: You know, being conservative at YDS must be a lot like being gay elsewhere ... like, some conservatives are in the closet, others are 'out'...

Overheard: in the hall

Jodela?

Alum: Adela and John Collins are the Brangelina of biblical studies.

ILLEGAL.

Student: 'Cause that's what I'm into... 13 year old girls who smoke pot.

I bet Baden gives a great Hebrew stump speech

Student: I just went to CNN.com and read that Joel Baden is campaigning in Raleigh, North Carolina... but Joe Biden makes more sense there.

It is quite lyrical

(reading)
Jake Erickson: That was definitely written by a straight white male. He appreciated the potency of the sentences and not the queer life of poetry.

Actually, it's broken. Thanks jerk.

Student to other student: Are you frowning or is your face broken?

My lunch date with Blair is tomorrow

Staff 1: (muffled question)
Staff 2: Oh, he's having lunch with Tony Blair.

Overheard: Outside refectory

It's like the Canada Wikipedia page but maybe a bit more relevant

Student 1: Are you reading the whole Alaska Wikipedia page?
Student 2: Yeah!
Student 3: Why are you doing that?
Student 2: Because it's important now!

I bet it's Vespers

Student: I have a liturgy for my homework!

Lutherans are the Midwest's number one crop

Bob Wilson: He comes from a small town in Michigan -- or somewhere out there in Lutheran-land.

Overheard in: History and Methods of Hebrew Bible Interpretation

Super Jew, maybe

Student: I didn't fully realize this before, but Jesus was really Jewish!

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Reverse that... oh wait that was a joke!

Dale Peterson: Oh, it's Joel Yoo and Phil Baden!!

overheard: coffee hour

You conjugate that verb

Student: Smite, smoot, smited, smaught.

Overheard: Hallway

You are very welcome here... Cough drop?

Div school student: Oh, you're sick, you have every right to wallow!
Sick Div school student: Yeah, I'm ok with self-wallowing--but only in private.
Div school student: You should let the community into that.

Overheard: HGS

And not again for another 2000 years or so

Student: You know, there seldom comes a time when you need a Second Temple student, but I need one now.

I hope no one pees on actual necks

Student 1: Why do Episcopalians feel the constant need to wear their collars?
Student 2: It's their way of peeing to mark their territory...

Overheard: Leaving Marquand after Krista Tippett's lecture

We love you some you too!

Recent alumni: I love me some me!

My sister-wife agrees

Student: You know you're cramming for Old Testament when you're talking about sister-wives.

Overheard: Old Testament study group, the Common room

Just don't use it to prop up your coffee table

Guest Speaker: I'm not a fundamentalist, but I take the bible seriously.

Overheard in: Evangelism

It could be a whole dissertation topic

Randall Balmer: If you take the words "cute purple dinosaur"... change the u's to v's, assign numbers to all the letters, you get 666. So Barney is the Antichrist.

Overheard: Evangelicalism

No burritos?

(On Origin's exegesis)
Christopher Beeley: God conceals higher meanings from those who won't understand... You don't give refried beans to that baby!

Overheard: Patristics

He probably wrote a book about it too

(On John Collins' body language)

Student 1:  Collins sometimes gives a raised eyebrow, but it's not a good thing.

Student 2:  No, it's not good at all.

Student 1:  I mean, it could be that he didn't think of that before...

Student 2:  But he's probably thought of that before.

We need more gourdists

Student: I wonder if Patrick's a classically trained gourdist.

Overheard: On the way to chapel

Every 7 days or so

Bruce Gordon: If you don't believe history is cyclical, you should because it's Monday again.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

At least it's not Urban Outfitter's website

Student: When I type "urban" into my url bar, the first two websites I've been to that come up are urbandictionary.com and about Urban II.

Me too! Sadly...

Student: The first time I experienced grinding was at a church meeting...

I'm waiting for the hit comedy movie

One Episcopalian to another: Dude, I have your incense.

Overheard: On the quad

Why does that person have your pants? Um... never mind.

(leaving voice mail message)
Student: Hey, it's me. GIVE ME MY PANTS BACK. (hangs up)

The patriarchy hurts my feelings

Bruce Gordon: ... Anselm's Cur Deus Homo, or Why God Became Man?. Sorry, Anselm wasn't into inclusive language.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

Please don't let me die before the election

Student 1: So what do you want to watch? Six Feet Under?
Student 2: I think I can handle death better than the current political season.

Either Denys Turner lied or something's not working

Student 1: Ever since Denys Turner told me to pray for what I want, I've been praying for a boyfriend.
Staff member: How's that been working out for you?
Student 1: Not good!

Overheard: Common Room

Damn the atmosphere!

Student: What if Jesus came back already but he burned up in re-entry?

Bless my gas tank too

(in office)
Staff: Will you bless my car for me?
Priest: Yeah, sure.

Overheard: South Hallway

Good to bring that in now and then

Willis Jenkins: I've never before done this in an ethics class but - this is the Bible.

Overhead: Bonhoeffer and King

I wonder if Psalm 23 has as good of a music video as Don't Worry, Be Happy

Student: Who knew Bobby McFarin was so talented? "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and Psalm 23? Amazing.

Overheard: Sung Morning Prayer in Chapel

Oh lordy

Older man 1: I definitely wouldn't go with the oil.
Older man 2: Personally, I prefer the latex.

Overheard: Outside Marquand

(For the record, they're talking about paint)

Oh my!

(typing into google search)
Student: Dancing... with... myself... lyrics.

Thief!

Student: Sometimes... when no one is here... I just dump the whole candy bowl into my backpack.

Overheard: Outside Dale Peterson's office

Way to be aware of what you're saying

Holy Grounds employee holding the biggest coffee mug: I kinda want to give this to a baby so it's an oversized prop.
Male Student: I'm a baby with an oversized - OOH!

Overheard: Holy Grounds

Old school, before the interwebs

(discussing Israelite cultic "prostitutes")
Bob Wilson: If you're interested in this, there's literature for you to read. . . And it comes in a plain brown wrapper.

Overheard in: Kings

Sorry to say, a lot of you don't need one

Student: I've always wanted to start a white middle-class scholarship. We're the only group without one.

Overheard: Common Room

No comment

Denys Turner: Hello, little one!
Child: The sun needs batteries!
Denys Turner: Yes, yes it does.

Evangelical boys are pretty shady

(roommate comes home at 12:15)
Student: Where were you? Why were you out so late? Who were you talking to? It had better have been [student] and not any of those evangelical boys!

I hope I'm one of the 10%!

3rd year student: I don't know 90% of the people I talk to at Coffee Hour.

The Hebrew Bible would be so different if everyone was heavily medicated

John Collins: What do you do when you hear God telling you to sacrifice your only son?
Student: Up your meds!

Overheard at: OT Interpretation

No comment

Student 1: My donkey's name was Michael Jackson.
(pause)
Student 2 (quietly): That's what she said?
Student 1: That doesn't make sense!
Student 2: That's why I said it as a question.
Student 1: That's what she (raises voice) said?

Because babies aren't humans

Student 1: Have you heard [alumni] is going to have a baby?
Student 2: Yeah, I did!
Student 1: I can't believe she's going to have a real, live, human - not just a baby, but a human.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The nuns didn't swear?

Student: I don't know any curse words in Spanish... then again, I learned Spanish from nuns.

You're not Jerry Seinfeld, sorry

Student 1: ... And what's the deal with Lutherans? They're all like 'ooooo, Luther'.
Student 2: [Student 1], you're just anti-Lutheranitic.

Maybe not the most sensitive or accurate comment ever

Student: Don't go with any of your notes. Just say, "he he, look at me, I'm Justin Martyr" (pretends to stab himself)

Overheard: Common Room

Must be a bad night

Student (while attempting to skin a chicken): This chicken is NOT going gentle into that good night!

I think context is key here

Staff member (putting on lotion): You can never go to chapel with dry hands.

I don't really see the innuendo in that, but ok

(to other student)
Student: This tupperware is really small! ... And yes, I know, that's what she said.

Better to spread the word, once you've learned how to talk

Student: Assemblies of God ordains when you're a fetus.

Next time...

Student: (sigh) You can bring a div schooler to beer, but you can't make them dance.

Overheard: Community Dinner

Great Scott indeed!

Student: While taking a shower this morning I suddenly realized, ‘Great Scott! I’ve forgotten how to cantillate!’

Maybe it's the beard

Straight student: If I go to a gay bar, I get hit on two or three times. If I go to a straight bar, I get hit on like NEVER.

Overheard: Common Room

Do what you have to, Ernestine

Ernestine: Am I doing grill tomorrow? We ran out today so if I am, that means I gotta come in early, I gotta pound, I gotta hammer...

Overheard: Refectory

Herod did have the whole fall collection...

Jaime Lara: Herod was very influenced by the Greeks and Romans. He loved Gucci.

Overheard: House of the Lord

Good friends

Student 1 (female): Hey look, I can make sideburns with my hair, just like yours!

Student 2 (male): I've had these sideburns since forever... before college. (points to them) See, this one is Luther and this one is Erasmus!

And Radiohead

Student: Harry Attridge has a surprising amount of Sixpence None The Richer in his shared iTunes.

Theological pickup lines are my favorite

Student 1: So, when Abraham makes this covenant, he actually tells the guy to grab his testicles.

Student2: That would make a great theological pick-up line: “Hey baby, let’s make a covenant.”

Overheard at: OT

Plus they got to wear togas! I would wear a toga every day if I could.

Student 1: I think I would have much rather been a Greek than a Roman.
Student 2: But the Greeks were always killing each other!
Student 1: Yeah, but it was always so playful.

Overheard at: HGS

So dangerous, yet so delicious

First year MAR: I’m like a Ding Dong for people who are allergic to chocolate.

If you're anyone, I would also assume

First Year MAR: It’s amazing the things you can have sex with… if you’re a Roman Emperor.

I didn't know eHarmony had a mannish woman category

Student 1: eHarmony doesn't match men to men.
Student 2: You could find a mannish woman.
Student 1: Believe me, I've tried.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

They love you too!!!!!

Student 1: How was class?
Student 2: It was really good. Thought provoking, moving, interesting...
Student 3: All wrapped up in the package that is Jonathon Bonk.
Student 4: I love Mennonites!!!!!

YDS is pretty passive-aggressive... at least until we get some drink in us. Then we're just aggressive.

YDS's Coffee Hour is famous over at passive-aggressivenotes.com... Check it out.

PS: To avoid the appearance of self-promotion and a conflict of interest, those notes are from the Ghost of Coffee Hours Past (and the Ghost of Bookstores Present).

PPS: Donate coffee mugs! And then wash your own. Seriously. It's not that I'm mad... just that I'm disappointed.

Please tell me it's framed somewhere

(looking at poster online)
Student 1: I don't know; it's kinda expensive.
Student 2: How much is it?
Student 1: $35.
Student 2: Oh, that's totally worth it. That's how much I paid for my Paul Tillich Time cover reprint.

Not boring enough for you?

Student: Do you have the book Basic Christianity?
Second Temple Student: I don't think so... Is that theology?
Student: Yeah, on evangelical theology.
Second Temple Student: Nope, I don't have any books on that Jesus cult.

Hopefully not in a factory

(student points to "Made In Mexico" on another student's notebook)
Student: Just like you!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Susan Olson must loooove the Bible

Susan Olson: So what are you reading the Bible for?

-------

(group of Bible/Second Temple students walk up)
Susan Olson: You're like a roving gang of Bible geeks!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Baden's more exclusive than Jesus, it seems

Student: Hey, is your course full?
Joel Baden: Well, I capped it at four...

Overheard: Common room

Almost as good as OH in Minneapolis!

This week only: Overheard at the RNC

Check it out.

A lot of Irish accents in HB

(John Collins starts speaking)
Student: All prophets sound like Irishmen now, after Hebrew Bible.

Overheard at: Faculty-Student lunch

Good advice!

Student: I was sleeping on the couch for awhile, and [alumni] would go out at 2 in the morning, and I'd mumble, "make good choices!"

Oh, the inner shame.

(during discussion on the atmosphere in law school classrooms)
Student 1: Yeah, there's not a lot of public shaming at div school.
Student 2: It's mostly inner shame, really.

I'm cute too...

Yale College Student: And I told Joel he should sleep with her, 'cause she's cute, like, right?

Overheard at: Old Campus

Technically it hasn't even started yet

Student: I think I need a drug problem. This semester is starting out boring.

Hopefully resentment is tax free too

Student: So I can use my student ID to get tax-free textbooks at all the Yale bookstores?
Bookstore employee: Yup.
Student: Do I get anything else?
Bookstore employee: Um... Universal adoration. (pause) Actually, it's more like resentment. Universal resentment.

A sexy dream? Maybe not.

(to Mike)
Student: Mike Giaquinto, I've never met you but I had a dream about you last night.

Probably sitting at the wrong table then

(walking past the Left Behind table)
CLC Leader: Are you all right here? Do you need anything?
Student: Jesus!

Overheard at: Activities Fair

Got to keep room for the Holy Spirit

Female div student: The problem with all the guys at div school is that they're either gay, married or Catholic.

Follow Jesus... to YDS

"You go up the hill, past the forestry school and YDS will be on your right... Big gates. Can't miss it."

Jesus Saves

From my collection of Jesus pictures:

Link of the Week

What Would a Unicorn Do?

If you're ever unsure about what to do today or what you should do in a particular situation, press the button and it'll tell you what a unicorn would do.

Today I should impale evil things.

Google searches pt. whatever

"who would win in a fight between jesus and optimus prime" (Brilliant. I have no idea. Discuss at will)
"recovering fundie"
"all church hymns"
"damn hollywood"

Link of the Week

Until BTFO kicks off the last week in August, I'll post a link each week.

This week: Things Younger Than John McCain

Some highlights include zip codes, Mensa, bendy straws, duct tape, 91% of America and The Grapes of Wrath.

Who knew there were so many things out there younger than presumptive Republican nominee John McCain?

That being said, I'd like to state that this site is non-partisan and will be voting for no one in the fall (since websites can't vote).

Also, happy birthday to my mom, who is the coolest lady I know and, at the ripe age of 29, is also younger than John McCain.

Latin innuendo is the best.

From Donald Kim, a YDS grad of '06 and probably avid reader of this lovely site:

I found an article in Yale Alumni magazine, entitled "Naughty Latin 101."

Underneath the High Street Bridge was some graffiti that read: Optimates Defloreantur ("May the best be deflowered." It's a sly off-color play on ancient Roman sloganeering, which would mean "May the best flourish" but with the de-, you get something else. Something you'd get at Pompeii, says the Yale professor quoted in the article.)

Thanks, Donald!

New Google Searches

Some recent google searches that brought people to OH@YDS:

yale divinity school gay
pre-vatican two nuns
divinity depression (I've got a bit of that now, missing YDS... sad.)
the best of what is said about jesus (I personally enjoy The Best of Jesus vol. 2)
the ugly people (We have none... Try the forestry school.)
should i go to yale divinity school (The Magic 8 Ball says reply hazy, try again)
every time you masturbate jesus kills an angel (Why is OH@YDS number 2 on a google search for that? I'm so ashamed.)
when did jesus hug anyone in the bible (Probably after that wedding in Cana... you know, the one with all that wine?)

As fun as these are, I want school to start again so I can actually post something interesting.

Just one more reason why MPLS is the best city in the midwest

From Overheard in Minneapolis:

5 year old kid to his little friend, after throwing a coin in the wishing fountain: I wished for JESUS to come alive!

Minnesota Zoo
Overheard by Yvette.

Translation oopsies and Divine Providence

Student reading written translation: I am the true vine and my father is the hairdresser...Wait, no, vinedresser!
Fellow Student: Well, that's going to end up on Overheard at YDS.

Overheard at: Summer Greek

I googled a gaggle of geese (and am bored)

New Google searches!

"picture of jesus hugging someone"
"good burger Nickelodeon movies" (I'm a bit embarrassed about this one)
"dale mail"
"define the difference between divinity and theology" (you're in the wrong place, soldier)
"coffee hour"
"bowchickabowow definition"

By the way, this is some of the paid advertisements on the bottom of a google search for "yale divinity school":

• Yale University Divinity School

  Get your degree online faster than you think. Financial aid options.

  www.AcceleratedDegree.com
• Yale Divinity School

  Request free info from accredited online colleges. Get started today.

  www.courseadvisor.com

Is anyone else a little unnerved by that?

Update: Oh, some poor soul googled "getting laid yale" and ended up here. How sad... (but hilarious!)

Google me this

Since I'm out-of-state and pining away for my divvies, I thought I'd compile a list of different Google searches people have done that have brought them to OH@YDS.

[any professor] + yale divinity school
tootsie roll lyrics meaning
quote on patriarchal society
graduation from yale divinity school thoughts
jake erickson and yale
beer theology
how hard get into yale divinity school
rudy darcy
lindsey theologian yale (my personal favorite)
meaning of tootsie roll
"german pop" blogspot

Added:
rock paper scissors meaning

By the way, is there some song called "Tootsie Roll" that I don't know about because I'm hopelessly out of touch with mainstream music?

Congratulations YDS Class of '08!

Nobody puts YDS grads in the corner! You're all Baby and everybody else is the awkward sister... We'll be cool one day. I'm not sure who Patrick Swayze is. Maybe Dale Peterson.

Anyway, congratulations!

Feel free to send in any overheards during the summer. Other than that, have a nice time off and try not to think too much about source criticism or eschatology.

Pre-graduation drinking on the Quad

Student: I've seen Britney Spear's vagina before.

-------

Student: Speaking of labia, [student] makes jewelry.

-------

Student: I'm just full of saliva tonight.

-------

Student: I love the sin, but I hate the sinner.



Overheard at: pre-graduation night on the Quad

But who is Calvin endorsing?

Student 1: Did you hear that John Edwards endorsed Obama?
Student 2: Oh... That's nice.
Student 1: Yeah, it's on CNN right now.
Student 2: Ooooooh. I thought you meant Jonathon Edwards, the colonial revivalist.
Student 1: No! You're a nerd!
Student 2: Yeah, I thought it was some weird joke and I just didn't get it.

And you aren't?

Yale College student: Why would you vacation at Myrtle Beach? That's so cliche.

Overheard at: Rudy's

Keg is in the corner, my friend.

(walks into common room)
Graduating student: It's time for me to get drunk!

Overheard at: post-community dinner impromptu dance party

You know it.

(dancing on a table)
Student: This is so much better than in college!

Overhead at: post-community dinner impromptu dance party

Ooh, German pop

(new song begins)
Student: Ooh, 99 Luft Balloons.

Overheard at: community dinner

Jesus invented cheap beer just for div schoolers

Student: You know, I didn't drink cheap beer until I came to div school.

Send us the link?

(walking past each other)
Student 1: Hey, I saw that YouTube video.
Student 2: Fun, right?
Student 1: Yeah!
Student 2: It's so much fun being bad.

Better be one hell of a honeymoon

Female student: Finals make me feel like a bride of Christ... I'm not getting laid until the end times.

I'm not sure I know what that means... or want to.

Gay Male Student - I'm not Anti-Semitic. I just don't date Jewish men.
Female Student - No, no you're Calvinist all the way. Even in the ass!

Overheard in: Commuter lounge

Okay?

Male student 1: Hehe, we're like little girls!

Male student 2: Except we have... (pause)

Male student 1: Big boy hands!

To hide his bunny ears, I've heard

UCC Student: Hey, does anybody besides the Pope get to wear a big hat?

Um... No.

(people studying in quiet)
Student: Does anybody have a Bible?


Overheard at: Common Room

From our friends in midwest (Twin Cities > Chicago)

From Overheard in Minneapolis:

Middle-aged white man: What do we need party supplies for?
Middle-aged white woman (loudly): It’s Pentecost next week!!

Highland Park party store
Overheard by duh, obviously

Niebuhr should stay on the wall where he belongs... but Letty can come out

Student 1: Did you ever notice that Niebuhr's eyes follow you around the room?
Student 2: (pause) Yeah!
Student 3: He reminds me of that guy that comes alive from the portrait in Ghostbusters 2.
Student 1: Do you think there's a slime river underneath YDS?


Overheard in: Common Room

I have had a professor who used pictures to explain theology before

(On the systematics final)
Student: I'm just going to draw a picture of Jesus hugging someone for all my Rahner answers.

Quite an insult

Student: Ugh, he looks like a Yale College student.

Now I want a derby party.

Student 1: Speaking of Kentucky, you know what's this weekend?
Student 2: The derby! We should have a derby party. It's such an unfortunate time of year for the derby.
Student 1: The only thing [other student] remembers about the derby party a few years ago was drinking a lot of mint juleps and standing on a table in Niebuhr hall singing with [another student].

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Just as long as I'm not up for surgery next

Yale div grad: YDS is a hospital where the patients practice on each other.

Overheard from: Three White Leopards

Can't say that I have

Student: You ever drink Dimetapp... Just for fun?

Overheard at: Anna Liffey's

That'd be a good place to start

Student: She was an evangelical, and weirdly apologetic for it... although with good reason... And then she wanted me to help introduce queer theory into her evangelical church, but I thought it'd help if most of the people in her church didn't think that people who had gay sex were going to burn in hell.

What a study session

Student 1: If you can explain the supernatural existential in five minutes or so, without going off on any tangents, that'd be great.
Student 2: I'll see what I can do.

Kinda meta

Dale Peterson: You know this is all going to end up on Overheard at YDS or on Facebook anyway.

Overheard at: Spring Fling

Still could be a favorite.

Student 1: Today was a really good chapel.
Student 2: Yeah, I really liked it.
Student 3: My favorite.
(pause)
Student 1: You weren't even there!

Overheard: on Quad

A Poetic Definition of Theology

Denys Turner: God utters. We stutters.

Overheard in: Medieval Theology

Oh, the disappointment.

2nd Career Female Student to 2nd career Male Student: I have to ditch you for the Spring Fling... you'll have to hang out with your wife!


Over heard in: the refectory

Wait! There's one in the back!

(while watching the United Methodist Conference opening ceremonies)

Student: There are so many white men on that stage. Wait! I see a woman bishop! Two! Three!

EVER!!!

Third year MDiv: Hey, this is my last class at YDS ever. (pause) Ever! (pause, more excited) EVER! EVER!!!

Overheard at: Theology and Cinema

Beam me up, Jesus

(during fire alarm)
Student: Maybe Jesus wanted to get everyone in one place to make the rapture easier.

Overheard at: Quad

Just reading...

Girl (on phone): So what were you doing last night while I lost my virginity?

Overheard at: HGS

Woah, woah.

Student: I loved Dr. Ruth! She was exactly like my grandmother.
Dale Peterson: Yeah, but my grandmother didn't tell me to take a full length mirror and look at myself.

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Your inner thoughts are coming out of your mouth - censor yourself.

(walking out of class)
2nd career student: Oh my god - boring! Pfffw.

(Div School) Idolize this!

Laura Bentivenga: I know some of you will be moved personally tonight, but there will be no "hmmm..." (tilts head and looks off thoughtfully).

--------

(Lost verses of "Give Me That Old Time Religion")
Jonah Bartlett: Can you sing that last verse?
Contestant (singing): We'll sacrifice no virgins/just control your carnal urges/and it's good enough for me.
Jonah Bartlett: Ok, just wanted to make sure that I was safe.

(On the Sacramental Winers and their lovely dresses)
Jonah Bartlett: I didn't know I'd be seeing all my favorite Disney Princesses here tonight!


Overheard at: Div School Idol

I hope it's just a 2nd career thing

2nd career student: ...It's like I'm not even connected to my own brain, and that's VERY scary...

Overheard at: hallway

Sounds too scary for me

Student: Hey! How are you today?
Adela Collins, smiling cheerfully and somewhat mischievously: I have apocalyptic visions dancing in my head! I hope you do to!

Well, Jesus loves the ugly people. So there.

Girl: Ugh, there were so many ugly people there. I hate ugly people.

Overheard at: HGS

Imagine the excitement for turnips

Student 1: Guess what I have for you?
Student 2: (looks in bag) Red cabbage! Helllll yeah, bitch!

Overheard at: hallway

Ernestine's wisdom

Ernestine: If you don't want bad breath, gargle with peroxide.
Refectory worker: Can you do that without dying?

Overheard at: Refectory

Mixed metaphors rule

Supervisor: Well, why didn't you merge the documents?

Sleepy Student: Uhhhhh, I could've couldn't I? Well, I'm running on 5 hours of sleep so I'm not the the sharpest knife in the, uh...

Supervisor: In the crayon box?


Overheard: YDS hallway

Not in Good Burger, the best Nickelodeon movie ever.

Carolyn Sharp: Food itself can be erotic. We've all seen the movies, I'm sure.

Overheard at: Psalms of Asaph

Make sure you sneak off... no killing right here.

Student: I want to be an assassin in a secret double life. I'm a very monogomous person so I could never cheat on my wife, but I'd like to sneak off and kill people.

Where can I get one?

Student: I was like... whatever, I'm single. Whooo! (muffled conversation) I have a European entourage.

Shake them even if you don't

Student: If you've got tits, shake 'em!

Overheard at: Eat, Drink and Be Married dance party (emphasis on the drink part...)

Same shit, different millennium

(talking about Commentators musing about the absence of Baal in Kings 18:27)

Vicky Hoffer (VHoff): Because of the language here, some commentators have suggested that Baal is passing a bowel movement.

(Student 1 and 2 whisper something to each other and giggle)

Vicky Hoffer: No, I'm serious, people actually say this, it's not just me.

Student 1: No, I'm laughing at Student 2. He just punned, "Like a 'Ba'al' movement."

Overheard in: Hebrew

So many metaphors.

Andre Willis: You have to prepare for arguments. That's why you have to sharpen your tools, prepare your arsenal. There's a premise, there's a premise, there's a premise. BAM! Checkmate your ass!

How many ways can I say not classroom appropriate?

Student: When I hear Between the Sheets, I'm not thinking about God.
Andre Willis: (pause) Well, what are you thinking about then?

Overheard in: Christianity and Culture

When soccer and theology meet

Student 1: Yeah... I'm apaphatic to Chelsea...
Student 2: (pause)... so you're not Chelsea?
Student 1: Hmmmm... I could be...

There's plenty of ministerial opportunities for inanimate congregations, right?

Person: Some people are just more suited for ministry to inanimate objects.


Overheard at: Preventing Ministerial Sexual Misconduct

I'm with Jesus... The Cubs suck.

Student 1: Who doesn't like the Cubs?

Student 2: The Cardinals. The White Sox.

Student 3: Jesus!

Student 2: You make a good point there.

Overheard at: the Refectory

I didn't know Dallas was that great.

Person: I've never been to Dallas.

Leander Keck: Well, then you have something to live for.

But I heard beer was better than theology...

Student 1: Lend me your ID so I can check out this book.

Student 2: No, man.

Student 1: That's not very pastoral of you.

Student 2: I'm not a pastor. I'm a theologian. We're cold and callous. Drinking is second.


Overheard at: the library

Well said.

Denys Turner: [long pause, staring out the window] Oh, lovely, lovely sins.

Overheard at: Medieval Theology

There's quite a jump from Cash to Kierkegaard

Student: There's ambiguity in U2 and I like that, like in listening to Johnny Cash or reading Kierkegaard...

Overheard in: Christanity and Culture

Never said you didn't, either.

Andre Willis: I can't put the music up tonight since I got something until 9:30.
Student: You go to church? Aw!
Andre Willis: Nah, I never said I go to church!

Overheard at: Christianity and Culture

Aw, don't be so hard on yourself

Student: I don't have an opinion on myself. The only opinion that counts is Jesus! And Jesus hates me.

Overheard at: Common Room

My mantra

Student 1: I go to Yale, I go to Yale...
Student 2: What are you doing?
Student 1: Whenever I do something ridiculous, I like to remind myself of the things I've accomplished.

More from the Gospel of Denys Turner

Denys Turner: By the way, I didn't just say, "I love you." I quoted myself saying it. Of course there's not really that disengagement from practice, because I do….

Overheard: in Medieval Theology

Denys Turner: Kant, in the third Critique, wrote that music was lowest of all the arts because it is farthest away from the verbal. Damn him!

Overheard: in Medieval Theology

Definitely defeats the purpose.

Student (reading book title): Explanation of the Divine Mysteries... Kinda defeats the purpose, don't you think?

Been objectified much?

(during a discussion on the male gaze)

Male student: What's so bad about being looked at?
(Female students laugh)

Overheard in: Film class

Almond jerky isn't that bad

Student 1: Have you had almond jerky?

Student 2: What kind of wuss eats almond jerky?

Student 3: Ooooooooh. Owned!

Computer skills are a very useful talent. Maybe not the most demonstrable...

Person 1: Are you doing anything for Div School Idol?

Person 2: No. I don't have any talents.

Person 1: You could take apart your computer on stage.

(Person 2 forcibly throws a bottle cap at Person 1)

Person 2: That was five years of pent up rage!

Overheard at: The Refectory

Enya it is.

Sister: When I was reading about that God stuff, I was listening to Enya. It was like... a sensory overload of godliness! You should listen to Enya when you do your homework.

Sox it to him!

Margot Fassler: Markus Rathey, my friend and colleague, even though he's a Yankees fan… I do pray for his conversion.

Overheard: in Sacred Music in the Western Christian Tradition

It's a nine volume set...

Sally Promey: If you see this Shaker art, you'll see it's very interesting. Or you could read my book. (pause) And if you read my book, you'll see I'm fascinated with them. Not to be too self-promotional.

I like this better than I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Student: Rule one, don't date anyone at Div school. Rule two, don't date anyone who has dated someone at Div school. Rule three, only break your rules once a semester.

...Ok.

(across the room)
Student 1: How was your Easter?
Student 2: I'm good.
Student 1: (pause) I asked how your Easter was.
Student 2: Happy Easter to you too.

And it was good. Very good.

In the beginning, God created semesters and summer sessions.

And God said, "Let there be breaks," and there were breaks. God saw that the breaks were good, and God separated the fun breaks from the work breaks. God called the fun breaks "spring break" and the work breaks God called "reading week." And there was evening, and there was morning - the second semester.

- YDS Genesis 1:1-2


Enjoy your spring break - because I will for you if you don't. Meanwhile, ponder this, left in one of the comments:


"You know you go to Yale Divinity School when...

-You understand jokes about Presbyterians.
-You can often tell who a DaleMail is from just by looking at the subject line.
-You use “He” to refer to God and feel guilty.
-Your TA doesn’t show up for section and you discuss the readings anyway.

Add your own!"

Leave any suggestions in the comments!

We've got CSharp's endorsement!

2nd career student: I'm a whore, you're a whore, we're all whores!

Carolyn Sharp: [turns bright red, looks down to contain laughter/uncertainty as to how she should respond] Someone should submit that to Overheard at YDS...

Overheard at: English Exegesis of Amos and Hosea, in reference to Hosea 1-3

So many dead angels...

Student 1: Well, you know that every time you masturbate, Jesus kills an angel.
Student 2: That's true. That's in the Apocrypha.

Overheard at: the commuter lounge

More like the boy who cried muffin

Student 1: Why is there no coffee hour?

Student 2: Micah sent an e-mail about it.

Student 1: I thought it was a joke. Micah is like the boy who cried wolf; I never know when to believe him.

Overheard at: Common Room at 11:00 AM

I can't believe you have a Yale degree... Can we have it back?

Douche-y guy: Oh yeah... That girl did a good job of Rehab at karaoke night There are just some songs that are really good karaoke songs.

Overheard at: the Yale hockey game

He's needed in music

Employee: Did you just hear what happened? Someone just paged for Ralph Nader to call assistance.

Overheard at: Broadway Barnes and Noble

Works in the peer-reviewed journals

Student 1: What if when you're evaluating a book you can't come up with any strengths? Or vice versa, any weaknesses?
Student 2: I don't know. Just call him an asshole.

Overheard at: the Computer lab

JC or JJC?

Student: My OT TA told us for our midterm, we should focus on Collins and Crenshaw, and if we get the chance, the biblical text.

Div students are pretty talented

Student 1: If anyone at this table would be able to join the circus, it would definitely be you.
Student 2: Me? Why?
Student 1: Because you're little. And you seem fairly pliable or something.
Student 3: Ya, you have short legs. You could shoot out of an elephant's mouth or something.

Overheard at: the Common Room

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Student: Lost and source criticism... what more could a girl need?

You're UCC?

Student: Well, that’s what happens theologically, at least. I’m not even going to touch the Bible!

Overheard at: the commuter lounge

If we're being honest...

Student: You only love me for my Septuagint!!

Overheard in: Greek Exegesis of Mark

Hail rosemary, full of grace

Adela Collins: The Kingdom of Heaven is like a large garden herb.

Overheard in: Greek Exegesis of Mark

It was a simpler world pre-Vatican II

Sally Promey: She says like all Catholic girls, she dreamed of becoming a nun. All Catholic girls dreamed of becoming nuns? Maybe pre-Vatican II.

Overheard at: Visual Cultures of American Religion

Either you study it too much or not enough, I say

Professor: So let's look at Mark... [flips in bible] ... [pause] ...You've been studying the bible in the 19th and 20th centuries for too long when you look for Mark in the beginning of your New Testament.

The Red Violin is pretty exciting...

(class presentation on musical ecstasy)
Student presenting: There's the Red Violin, where the Baroque violin player would compose music and have sex at the same time-
Student in audience: I'VE SEEN THAT!

Who would win in a fight, Optimus Prime or HR Niebuhr? Tough call.

(On Niebuhr's Christ and Culture)
Andre Willis: And Christ the transformer... hah, wasn't that movie called Transformers... of culture.

Overheard at: Christianity and Culture

A VERY short introduction to the Hebrew Bible

John J. Collins (JJC): The problem with the Bible is too many people feel an obligation to take it seriously.

Overheard at: Dead Sea Scrolls

Catholics get all the sacraments AND sins...

Catholic: What are the seven deadly sins?
Methodist: I don't know! I'm a Methodist... we got rid of that crap!

Overheard at: Cinema and Theology

Ouch.

(on the phone)
Librarian: It'd be too expensive to mail through the library system... [pause] You could mail it yourself... [pause] You can handle it! Get a job!

Just stick to making up biblical words, ok?

Student: I'm a left door through-er.

Overheard at: Library, where the right door was broken.

Thank you, Margot Fassler

Margot Fassler: Luther is a completely different-looking guy than Calvin. They all have a look. Look at that mouth: that's not the mouth of a prude.

Overheard in: Sacred Music in the Western Christian Tradition

Wow... just wow.

Student: Wow, hookers on a merry-go-round. A dream come true.

Kobe thanks you in the name of Christian love

Andre Willis: If it helps me to love him more to go watch Kobe tonight, then that's what I'll do! As long as Kobe wins.

Overheard at: Christianity and Culture

Yay is right!

Student: Oh yay, I just opened my Greek chapter to more third declension noun types.
Child: YAY!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

After 9 months, I'd feel the same way

Student: Hey! What's new?
Pregnant Student: I'm due today.
Student: Shouldn't you be at home?
Pregnant Student: I'm bored. Babies... All ready a pain in the ass and it's not even out yet.

Then it makes sense.

[In a discussion of the limits of city lines and counties in a Southern state]
Student 1: I just don't get it. There is a little, city-sized hole in the county, and the city doesn't get to be part of the county, it's something else, like a city.
Student 2: Right. The city isn't part of the county, although being within the geographical bounds of the county, its status as a city exempts it from the county.
Student 1: I just don't get it.
Student 3: Think about it in terms of the dual natures of Christ!

The high seas call

Student 1: You should come with us next time we go to this sailor bar.

Student 2: Sailors? I love sailors. And bars? They're ok too.

Student 1: How's your sermon?

Student 2: It's the most evangelical thing I've ever preached and it's scaring the hell out of me!

Yes, yes he does.

Student: I'm so cynical, but Jesus loves me for it.

Damn Hollywood!

Student: I watched The Notebook this weekend while drunk and I realized where all my unrealistic expectations of love came from.

There's some agape

Student 1 (inebriated): She posted on his facebook wall! She's a whore!
Student 2: Well, fuck her.
Student 1: No! I'll fuck him! Within the bounds of holy matrimony!

Yale Health Care rocks

Student: I still have a pediatrician... She was asking me if I was sexually active while wearing teddy bear patterned scrubs.

Reading week gossip

Student 1: If you're looking for [student], he's in the library reading room.
Student 2: He studys?
Student 1: Yeah, he said he had a date with Jeramiah.
Student 2: Wow. HOT.

It's very serious, being Denys Turner

Denys Turner: A lost book is a grave sin... Calvin and total depravity come to mind.

You don't really need the other five anyway

M.A.R. Student: I don't know very much about being a Catholic... except that for some reason I have seven sacraments and everyone else only has two.

Overheard at: Div. School Apartments

Sure it is...

Student: I can bring some applesauce and beer. Applesauce is always a good birthday treat.

Red or white?

Sally Promey: I just want to make sure people would be able to come.
Student 1: If you want Div students to show up to anything, get a box of wine.
Student 2: It's true.

All right, all right, historical critical it is.

Harry Attridge: In our engagement with the scriptural text, we can legitimately say from time to time, "No, my dear brother, you are on this point mistaken!"

The Gospel of Denys Turner

Denys Turner: Oh dear, where is that in Acts? I can't quite remember...but I'm a Catholic; I don't actually read the Bible.

(On Liturgy in the Pseudo Denys)
Denys Turner: ...Smells, Bells and the Lot...

Denys Turner: In the YEAR OF OUR LORD 500--and stuff the political correctness.

(On a 1960s Scouse translation of the Bible)
Denys Turner: At one point you have Jesus nattering to Nicodemus....

Overheard In: Medieval Theology

------------

Denys Turner: Oh stop looking so amazed; the next time I chatter on for an hour, kick me in the shins and tell me to shut up.

Denys Turner: Is there a Book of Mary? I always felt that reading the Gnostics was bad for one's soul.

Denys Turner: Well PCs are basically Protestants and Catholics aren't they? Now we have ones which we rely on icons to operate--so Protestants are basically using Catholic computers since theirs aren't good enough--because, before, we had 'Protestant' ones where you had to type the commands; you really did have to rely only on 'the Word....'

Overheard In: Medieval Preaching

I bet the Niebhurs have less sequined outfits

Andre Willis: Can you imagine being a Niebhur? It's like being part of the Jacksons.

Overheard in: Christianity and Culture

Talk about a gut reaction

Mark Villano: I want to make sure we cover some theology tonight, so we're going to talk about Rahner.
Student in the back: No!
(class laughter)
Another student: Don't say Barth, don't say Barth...

Overheard in: Theology and Cinema

I don't want to know what she's talking about

Second career student: I was disturbed by the fact I would even eat something like that.

Overheard at: Outside the Refectory

Maybe the apocalypse won't be so bad after all.

Bob Wilson: All right, friends, we need to get this apocalypse underway.

------------------

Bob Wilson: I got so excited about flying saucer cults last week that I forgot to mention...

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Bob Wilson: Not everybody who goes and drinks a bottle of vodka are considered shamans by the Tunga. Some are just thought to have an alcohol problem.


Overheard at: Apocalypticism

My experience as a lotta awesome

(on individual interpretations)
Student: You're not trying to change Rambo... You're explaining your experience of Rambo.

Overheard at: Christianity and Culture

Friday mornings they just give out bread and wine

Student: I've found ways to eat free every night. Wednesdays I'm Anglican, Mondays I'm Catholic.

Good to have your history straight

(In reference to a description of the 14th century discovery of a perfectly preserved ancient Italian girl)
Carlos Eire: Necrophilia? Perhaps, but that's what the Renaissance is all about.

Overheard at: Reformation Europe

The meaning of a Tootsie Roll

Susan Olson: I heard someone out here exegeting the candy bowl and I knew it had to be Carolyn Sharp.

Overheard at: Dale Peterson's candy bowl

I need to attend more Methodist dinner parties

Student: He started the story with "I was getting drunk with a Methodist at a dinner party..."
Denys Turner: Oh, Methodists do get drunk at dinner parties.

Overheard at: YDS Hallway

At the end are you bitter and sassy?

Student: It's early in the semester so I'm still carefree and sassy.

That's one way to go about it

Student: You can't let them see your weakness! And if they do, then you should stab their eyes out so they can't see it again!

Not as good as rescuing his family from a sinking battleship, but still pretty good

Jake Erickson: "Ran With Scissors" ... I want that on my tombstone!

The interwebs is an amazing place

(Across the room, showing two ladies how to use the library website)
Librarian: Aaaaand, there you are in Orbis.
Lady 1: There we are! Whoo!
Lady 2: You have no idea how awesome that is!

Student (muttering): Too much excitement, too much excitement.

Overheard at: Circ desk

Maybe they're big fans of Grand Theft Auto too.

Middle-aged librarian 1: I need to get a Wii.
Middle-aged librarian 2: I LOOOOOOOOVE bowling!

Overheard at: Library

SOMEONE made an impression on her first day...

Shannon Craigo-Snell: Oh shit! (looks around the classroom sheepishly) ... I can [say] that down the hill.


(On 95 Thesis)
Craigo-Snell: All these things have been said before but Luther had friends with armies.


(On Letty Russell)
Craigo-Snell: May she kick ass in glory!!


Overheard at: Systematics II

Welcome back!

Grad student 1: Wait, it is Monday isn't?
Grad student 2: Yes.
Grad student 1: Oh, ok... Where am I again?

Oh! So I have the bad joke genes!

Dad: I've been planning this joke for my Friday morning bible study.
Div Student: What is it?
Dad: Well, when the leader says we're going to talk about epiphany this week and explains what it is, I'm going to say, "Oh! So that's what epiphany means!"
Div Student: You're going to pretend to have an epiphany about what epiphany means?
Dad: Yeah!
Div Student: (pause) You're lame.

Back in the 'Have

We're back!

Well, I'm back, and since one of my primary goals in life is to entertain myself, you all should help out and send all that eavesdropping you've been doing for me. Since, you know, I was totally productive and didn't spend the entire break watching Scrubs or anything...

Happy Epiphany!