Saturday, January 31, 2009

So no Monopoly at SOM?

Student: During Hungry, Hungry Hippos at the Forestry school, I suggested we make sure everyone have enough to eat and someone said I definitely go to the div school.

Why would she text a family member then?

Student: Hah! My sister just sent me a text that said, "Oh my god. The rapture must have happened since none of my family members are answering their phones."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You'd never eat it otherwise

Student: It's always disappointing to find out what you're eating is actually tofu.

Overheard in the refectory

Especially on hip-hop night

Student 1: They have an inflatable penis.
Student 2: Even on hip-hop night?!?

-Overheard whilst walking past the commuter lounge

If this involves community theater, I want a video.

1st year MAR: I was a GOOD Pinocchio! I just want you to know that.

Excuse me, I'm the only one who can win twice

1st year MAR: It's a win-win situation. I win twice!

I see an iPod commerical out of this somehow

1st YR. MAR: I groove on the tree of life.

Only if you wear a three pointed hat

(On soliciting involuntary comments from students who may or may not have done the reading)
Fr. Tony Jarvis: This is the reign of terror, by the way. Call me Robespierre.

Overheard in Educational Leadership & Ministry

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I wish I knew the question

(walking through common room)
Student: OH, ZIP IT.

If not, I'm just going to call myself best man anyway

Student 1: Can I be invited to your wedding? CAN I BE THE BEST MAN?!?
Student 2: I hadn't really thought about best man stuff since I didn't think I'd have a white person wedding.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Once you figure out what that means

Student: I once heard this nondenominational pastor preach four or five sermons on sexual morality...
Ralph Klein: He was for it, I presume.

Overheard: Lutheran colloquium

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Color coordinating is a good thing

(commenting on adjacent students using a combination of black and white MacBooks)
M.Div: Wow, you guys are like a double-stuffed Oreo.

Overheard in Liturgical Theology


Student 1: What'd you do with the leftover body of Jesus?
Student 2: I ate it...
Student 1: ALL OF IT?
Student 2: It was sourdough!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kilts optional

(on Bruce Gordon)
Student: It's important to be taught Reformation history with a Scottish brogue.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The Word was with God and the Word was fabulous

Peter Hawkins: He [Jesus] doesn't say a word in Mark, Matthew or Luke [passion narratives]. He certainly does in John. He's fabulous in John!

Overheard: Passion of Christ in Lit and Art

I value awesomeness, but mostly my own

Willis Jenkins: If it turns out that blue whales are just AWESOME and we're the type of species that values 'awesomeness,' then it follows blue whales would deserve our protection.

Overheard: Environmental Ethics

Spreading ManBearPig Awareness in DC

Student 1: Look, there's Al Gore... his beady eyes looking out at everything.
Student 2: He's looking for ManBearPig.
Student 3: For cereal.

Overheard: Marquand during the Inaugural ceremony

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Shouldn't have quit piano lessons in elementary school

Student 1: I'm not sure, I mean, it depends on whose piano I lie on.
Student 2: You can lie on my piano anytime you want.

MLK Jr Day Reading

British tabloids are the best. Apparently they've caught on to all the shady dealings at YDS, all orchestrated by Denys Turner and Opus Dei.

Seriously, I'm not making this one up.

Get thee to a ministerial misconduct class, quick

M.Div: Well, I had never had sex with a woman, so I was ready to have sex with something.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Pow! Bang! Shazaam!

(regarding the "Holy Happy Hour" email)
Student: I sort of wish this email subject line had ended with "comma, BATMAN!"

Time for a school-wide talk about our changing bodies

Student 1: You know, the student body isn't very funny this semester.
Student 2: Maybe we're all ashamed of our body.
Student 1: Just like puberty!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Come on... You love pastoral care

MDiv: Role play is the DEVIL!

Don't apologize to the evangelical. Apologize to Jesus.

Student: Christians can swear! (turns to evangelical) Sorry, [name].

So much feeling in those "hmmms" though

Kristen Leslie: "Hmmm" is the white Protestant version of amen.

Overheard: TLGBQ Pastoral Care

And pastors?

Teresa Berger: No one should work on Sundays except organists.

Overheard: Face of Death

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Just time to time?

Yale Div. Student: I'm not taking medieval theology or historical Jesus because of area four/five. I might take HJ out of spite, though.

Vanderbilt Div. Student: HJ? oh yes. HJ. I read that as "handjob" at first. Then remembered we're talking about religion. I clearly need to get laid.

Yale Div. Student: Don't you have a girlfriend?

Vanderbilt Div. Student: I have a girlfriend in real life. She gives me historical jesuses from time to time.

Overheard: Google chat

Monday, January 5, 2009