Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas, love bugs!

M.A.R.: "Seriously, the incarnation makes me giddy."

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Go Ahead. Ask.

Gay MDiv: "Shit.  I can be drafted now."

Re: This

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Think of it as your 40 days, hetero ladies

Former YDS staff person, now working elsewhere in the university:

"I forgot how many straight men there are in the world."

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Well, it's been said...

Student 1: "All right.  I'm gonna go plant my ass in a desk for the day."
Student 2: "Lucky desk."

That's what the fourth year is for

S.T.M. student: "Have you shifted from grammar into necromancy?"
M.Div student: "No, I'm still doing grammar."
Overheard: Study party

I'm envisioning the Magnificat as some kind of dance floor ballad a la Diana Ross

At a holiday party, decorating a gingerbread Mary

Student 1: "Mary's got it goin' on!"
Student 2: "Yeah, I bet she did."

Student 1: "Mary and the Holy Spirit...Got it goin' on..."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

For some, more high than pass.

MDiv, regarding finals and papers:

"This, too, shall come to high pass."

Monday, December 13, 2010

If only they taught witchcraft at YDS...

MDiv: "My problem is that all my inanimate stuff is actually inanimate, and won't put itself away."

Overheard in: Niebuhr Hall

Pish. I'm on Friendster.

Christopher Beeley: "Well, how does popular culture answer this question?"
2nd year: "We're probably the wrong people to ask about popular culture."

Overheard in: Anglican I

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Not necessarily. I mean, I think David Kelsey would be OK with it.

"I have to meet with a professor tomorrow.  Dammit! I have to change out of these pajamas!"


(send in your overheards!)

That's hard. Say more about that.

1: "It's like when [student] said to me over dinner, 'That's big.'"
2: "Yeah, if you're not talk about my junk then shut up."

Students, bemoaning pastoral care language practiced on each other.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Tell him to wash behind his ears!

David Kelsey, on reading from a lectern facing the altar in Berkeley's chapel:

"This is a nice seating arrangement for reading metrical psalms, but I feel kind of funny lecturing Jesus."

So, what you're saying about Barth and Rahner is....

Miroslav Volf:  "Christianity is practical.  This may come as a surprise after reading Barth and Rahner."

Overheard in: Systematic Theology

Thursday, December 9, 2010

I love the honest ones.

MDiv: "Sooo, sometimes God is scrutible, and sometimes God is inscrutible, and the difference is whether it fits Barth's purposes or not."

Overheard in: Systematics section

De Colores. De Colores se visten los campos en la primaveraaaaa

Joe Britton: "So the good news, I guess, is that the new Mory's is pretty much like the old Mory's."
Student 1: "Is that good news?"
Student 2: "They have cups in liturgical colors.  What more could you want?"

Overheard in: LaTourette

Monday, December 6, 2010

Suet is the loosest fat of all, you know.

Student, talking about olive oil: "Is it extra-virgin if you're home-schooled?"

Sunday, December 5, 2010

As if there were an innocent MAR...

"Well-known celebrity" 3rd Year M.Div overheard by innocent 1st Year MAR:

"I only fuck within denomination."

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Prof. Starr, whip us into shape!

standing at the soccer game...

2nd year: "I feel like Chloe Starr is a little bit like super nanny for the div school..."
3rd year: "I feel like we'd all have our shit together a hell of a lot more if we paid attention..."

How wrong is it that this is made of pork?

Happy Advent, friends.  Make sure this is on your holiday menu.  It'll help prepare you for the Lenten diets fasts.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Oh, honey. Consider that a gift!

First year M.Div: "I look good in dim lighting, really."

(lamenting the quality of the Div School apartments)

Like a rabbit and a top hat, right?

Episcopal Dean: "Sometimes you just have to stick the chalice under the bonnet and hope for the best!"

on the perils of serving communion wine at the altar rail on Easter Sunday

Reach, brothers and sisters. Reach!

Student: "You mean we have to live up to the jazz hands."

Overheard: Gospel choir

Monday, November 22, 2010

Maybe your office smells nice. Like incense. I don't know. Maybe it's an Episcoposse secret. Y'all are high church and whatnot.

Student: "Are you extending office hours to talk about the paper?"
Christopher Beeley: "I'm extending office hours because I can.  I have no idea why people want to talk to me."

Overheard: Anglican I

Then Walt Disney is God.

Miroslav Volf: "This is the Mickey Mouse account of incarnation."

Overheard: Systematic Theology

Friday, November 19, 2010

Keep trying, little one.

At a Thanksgiving party:

MDiv 1: "Will someone clean my rooooom?"
MDiv 2: "No."
MDiv 1: "How do you know?! Someone might!"
MDiv 2: "Oh.  Excuse me for being the prophetic voice here."

Thursday, November 18, 2010

We all have a gift.

Student 1: "We're all terrible sinners!"
Student 2: "Actually, we're pretty good at it."

Watch out for them. Never trust the friendly ones.

Mark Miller: "This song was written by a Canadian, and it's wildly popular in the Midwest.  Who knows it?"
MDiv: "I do."
Mark Miller: "Are you from the Midwest?"
MDiv:  "No.  But I knew some Canadians . . . once."
Mark Miller: "It happens to the best of us."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

You might be in the wrong place if that makes you uncomfortable.

Student, walking to the south wing: "I like that one random photo of the guy painting. He looks way less dorky than everyone else there."

Monday, November 8, 2010

I would stop for a burrito first.

Baden: "Why did the Israelite spies go right to the prostitute's house when they entered Jericho? I don't know.  I guess what happens in Jericho stays in Jericho."

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Old Testament? You mean Part 1, right?

Student: “I preached my sermon on the Old Testament and didn’t mention Jesus until the LAST paragraph. Nora Tubbs Tisdale would have had a fit.”

Overheard: Outside Latourette Hall

Monday, November 1, 2010

Which borough is that?

MDiv 1: "Are you a Giants fan?"
MDiv 2: "No you're thinking of [Person X]. She's the Giants fan."
MDiv 1: "Oh. Well, she'll perish in everlasting fire."

Overheard: Sarah Smith Gallery

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Derrida, Foucalt, Baudrillard, and Lyotard hunched over a game of Stratego

2nd year MDiv: “Isn’t that like the post-modern wet dream?”

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


1: "What if it stays in imbagaguity land?"
2: "We'll cross that bridge when it comes to that."
1: "What?"
2: "Don't cross your name off the score card before the pins are even set down."

Never forget yonic, son.

MDiv: "One time I forgot yonic, and it made me crazy."

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Preach it!

STM: "It kind of bums me out that my menstrual cycle doesn't have more gravitas unto itself."

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

If only meat were BS...

Student: "You can't keep up with that kind of meat output."

Overheard: OT Section

Or the Showcase Showdown!

MAR: "The price was right." [pause] "I'm going to hell."

Overheard: Greek New Testament reading group, speaking about the thirty pieces of silver Judas received to betray Jesus

Water from a stone, friends. Water from a stone.

MDiv: "Is Easter strong enough to resurrect fun at U of C?"

Monday, October 4, 2010

Perfect summation of ivy league academia? You decide.

MDiv: "So, which way to the 'Build your own ark' lecture?"
MAR: "We need one.  Or one on 'How to Walk on Water.'"
MDiv:  "I don't know about that one.  I don't think I'm divine.  That's a problem."
MAR: "I do.  That's also a problem."

Sunday, October 3, 2010

No transubstantiation necessary

MDiv 1: "He kinda looks like a butcher."
MDiv 2: "Of Jesus."

(said at the ordination service of an alumnus, as he was putting on his new alb, right before Communion)

Friday, October 1, 2010

Is he wearing a cardigan and argyle?

MDiv, looking for images of Jesus online: "Hey, here's a nice Jesus. He's kind of got that Jesus-next-door look."

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

That's so pastoral. I'm really moved.

Preaching Student: "In my tradition, the only time angels come around is when they come to fuck things up..."

Nora Tubbs Tisdale (said in a sweet, Southern accent): "Now, tell me more about angels coming to fuck things up."

Overheard:  Preaching Section

Sunday, September 26, 2010

We're very hardcore here

Christopher Beeley:  "All these people run around in church saying, 'Aren't we nice?'  NO!  You're all bastards."
Student: "That's pastoral"

Overheard in: Anglican Theology I

Jesus is born in one of those pods! Interpretive dance! Interpretive dance!

Student 1: "What's this?"
Student 2: "It's the Gospel according to Ga Ga."

Overheard: Marquand Chapel

I'm glad they were learning carpentry.

2nd Year MDiv, talking about polygamy, using Solomon for an example:

"When one would come home, Solomon would be waiting there all like...'behold the cedar of Lebanon!...wood!'"

Overheard: Refectory

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Next community-building game night! fun fun!

Student walking into the ever-changing table setups in LaTourette:  "It's like Tetris gone horribly, horribly wrong."

Take what you can get, friend

MDiv, regarding spandex pants: "Well they're the only thing that's touching my genitals these days."

Monday, September 20, 2010

Why don't your intimate times involve 100 other people? Maybe the problem is you.

Student: "Are you ready for our intimate systematics class?"

Overheard in: Niebuhr hall

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Good luck!

Second year MDiv: "I feel a doodle coming on."

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Makes as much sense as a theology class.

Christopher Beeley: "You don't read like you watch television.  Unless you need to watch television, in which case, you read vampire novels."

Overheard: Anglican Theology I

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Student1: "Are you into idolatry?"
Student2: "Oh, I'm totally into idolatry."

Overheard: Latourette Hall

Monday, September 6, 2010

So young, so hopeful. Nobody take that away from this one.

MDiv: "The one time there was actually fraud on my card, my dad called and asked why there was $300 on charges on my account, on places like eHarmony and  That was difficult to explain away. I mean, obviously it was fraud.  It wouldn't take me $300 to find someone."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

No, no, no. I'm just above that.

3rd year: "You're not on Facebook?  Are you, like, American?"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Yes. Yes you can.

MDiv: "Can I lube you?"

Overheard: New Haven Road Race

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Well, I still think I'm on summer vacation.

MDiv: "Maybe he thinks he's still on sabbatical."

Overheard: waiting, ten minutes after the start of class, for a particular professor whoshallremainnameless to arrive

Total sequitur

STM Student: "I just threw up a little."
MDiv Student: "Aww.  I miss Amir!"

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Awww. You're gonna give it a complex.

Third-Year M.Div.: "It's kinda like Mount Zion. It's a crummy little mountain."

Overheard: JE Dining Room

Monday, August 30, 2010

Wait wait waitasecond. I thought that was Jesus.

Small child: "Why did you just rip up that paper?"
MDiv Mother: "Because Josh told us to.  And sometimes we do what Josh says."

Overheard: BTFO

Sunday, August 15, 2010

THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is what an MDiv gets you.

STM: "What if Ludacris joined the Bruderhof and started rapping under the name Bruda?"

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Lo! Dope rhymes

Regarding Brother Charles' musical contributions...

STM: "Wesley was a baller!"

Thursday, August 5, 2010

For tonight, we dine in heaven

MDiv 1: "What's that?"
MDiv 2: "It must be the apocalypse."
MDiv 1: "Oh!  Well, I've got snacks."

Upon hearing clanging bells at a Milford beach

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Wisdom of the Sea Cockroaches

YDS Alum: "Next time I should pay more attention to the writing on the lobster."

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Well, some people stay in academia their whole lives

MAR Alumnus: "What I want to know is at what age am I cut off from the teet?"

Finally, a sign!

Alumna: "You're making ice!"
MDiv: "Just refilling the ice trays!"
Alumna: "It's a sign that you're a decent human being!  Yay!"

Friday, June 18, 2010

Go for the heart! Go for the heart!

Hostess: "I bought you birthday candles, but I can't find them.  So you can have the bleeding heart of Mary, or a tea light."

Overheard: Birthday dinner

You're in a prayer sandwich! Don't forget the mayo.

MDiv who lives off campus is chatting with her neighbors.

Neighbor: "So, you go to divinity school?  So does our neighbor two doors down."
MDiv: "Yeah.  [Name] lives on this end of the street, and I live on the other end."
Neighbor: "That's good to know, in an emergency.  You know, if we ever need ..."
MDiv: "Prayed for?"
Neighbor: "I was going to say counseling, but that sounds better."

Overheard: East Rock (off campus)

Friday, May 28, 2010

You people are so weird

Left on the whiteboard in a study/seminar room at YDS:
"Rejected REL 700b* course titles:
     -Transitional Moments in Western Christian History II: Look Who's Talking Now
     -The Neverending Story II: American Religious History
     -Transitional blah blah blah...OMG Mormons!
     -Analyze That"
*Transitional Moments in Western Christian History (part 2)

Monday, May 24, 2010

That means it's time to go

MAR: "I'm tweaking my nipples."
MDiv, with concern: "My first instinct was to look."

Thursday, May 6, 2010

In so many ways, buddy

M.A.R., about to finish his semester: "Time to go put on adult pants!"

Thursday, April 29, 2010

God. If only that were true.

Male Middler who is taking his first Credit/No Credit Class: "So, if you take a class as Credit/ No Credit, for your final paper, what do you have to do?"

Male Senior: "Be drunk."

Overheard: After Professor Minkema's last Witch Hunt and Witchcraft class

It's the most wonderful time of the yearrrrrrr!

MDiv: "Oh!  Daylight!"

Monday, April 26, 2010

Imagine this if you were Hindu

Student, preparing for Hebrew Bible exam: "Why is the Bible so loooooong?"

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

There's a fetish for everything!

OT TA:  "That's funny.   When women find out I'm a preacher they seem to want me more."

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I've found my ministry.

Student: "You make going to the bathroom fun."

Friday, April 16, 2010

Does that make the Mayan calendar fresh meat?

Student (chatting about a sermon she is preparing): "The reading from Revelation is doxological.  Pretty, but not a lot of meat to it."
Librarian: "Which is a shame, because there's so much meat in Revelation.  Some of it is crazy meat, but-"
Student 2: "Yeah.  You might want to check the expiration date on that meat."

You were always on my miiiiiiiind.... You were always on my mind

Denys Turner: "You don’t have to think about God all the time in heaven, because God is always with you.  In hell you have to think about God all the time, because there isn’t anything else, and thinking about God all the time with nothing else is hell.  It’s like a divinity school."

Overheard: Medieval Theology, discussing Dante's Inferno  and Paradiso.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

That's "high church" to you, people.

Guest speaker at Anglican Colloquium: "I recommend liturgical protest.  That's what we're good at: putting on dresses and chanting."

Overheard: Anglican Colloquium

Oh drat! I thought it was going to be in 2012.

Student 1 (talking about the New Testament class schedule, we think): "And unfortunately, I'll be in Virginia on the first day of the Apocalypse."

Student 2: "Based on what I've been reading, that's where it might kick off."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Saturday, April 3, 2010


Student titling a day's notes on her computer: "Paul and Sex DAY!!!  And in Church Day!"

Overheard: Intro to the New Testament II

That is a very complicated issue. Dazzling doesn't come easy to everyone.

Prof. Chloe Starr: "Any other brilliant points to dazzle us with?"
Student:  "Well...  Could you frame that another way?"

Overheard: Christianity in SE Asia

Friday, April 2, 2010

The dollar has risen!


That's our rep!

Micah Luce, upon hearing that: "Welcome to YDS, Denys Turner!" might want to see a doctor. or an exorcist.

Denys Turner:  "Augustine called Carthage a hissing cauldron of lust.  You know, I've always wanted to live in a hissing cauldron of lust!  If you can get your lust to hiss..."

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Best place for it!

MDiv: "MIKE!  There is a carrot in my mouth!"

regarding the veggie bowl next to Mike Giaquinto's desk, which has replaced the Candy Bowl, perhaps for Maundy Thursday.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Some day you'll open for Hagar, too.

While lying on the cot, donating blood at YDS's blood drive, and feeling it comin' in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh, Lord:

Micah Luce: "Hey Mike! I'm giving blood to Phil Collins!"
Mike Giaquinto: "Just remember not to drum to it."
Micah: "Oh!  I can Def Leppard it!"

Sunday, March 28, 2010

I'm so proud

MAR:  "I'll say douche when I'm good and ready to say douche, darn it!"

Saturday, March 27, 2010

But would he want to listen to his music?

MDiv 1:  "Don't you think Jesus died for Justin Bieber?"
MDiv 2:  "Of course I think Jesus died for Justin Bieber."

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Ride the Lightning, Professor Collins

Adela Collins: "I really enjoy Metallica.  I only have two albums, though."

(proceeds to sing a few lines)

Overheard: Catholic House dinner

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The belly button is totally fair game, though

Carolyn Sharp: "The hand of God is not something to monkey around with."

Overheard: Psalms Exegesis

Monday, March 8, 2010

Indeed, there can be joy in mourning.

(Discussing the story of Jephthah's daughter - Judges 11:29ff.)

MDiv Student #1: "I wonder what kind of games you play at a party to bewail one's virginity?"

MDiv Student #2: "Sex?"

An Ivy League education really does open doors for you

YDS Student: "I have the best phlebotomist in Boston!"

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Definitely make this one a priest

MDiv Student: "I'm pretty sure that turning tricks is not covered in the Berkeley Rule of Life."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Friday, February 26, 2010

Or THC in the Communion host!

YDS student: "They oughta just put Prozac in the drinking water here."

(p.s., little doves: It's February.  Winter is lameskies.  It will be better soon.)

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I, too, think rugby is neat.

Professor Minkema: "Hartford was founded by a hooker... a Thomas Hooker!"

Sunday, February 21, 2010

THAT'S why I love dried fruit so much

Student 1: "What would happen if you blessed raisin bread [for the Eucharist]? Would each of the raisins be blessed? Would each raisin be a little Jesus?"

Student 2: "He is raisin! He is raisin indeed!"

Overheard: The dumpling-making session for the Community Dinner.

Friday, February 19, 2010

With God all things are possible

Student 1: "I just figured out why I don't like Karl Barth.  He's an INTJ.  He's very either-or, and he's not going to change."
Student 2: "And he's dead now, so that would make it harder."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Sunday, February 14, 2010

You never know...

Student 1 (wearing robe and surplice): "I'll be at dinner once I get out of these things."
Student 2:  "You're not going to wear this lovely outfit?"
Student 1: "Really?  The pregnant penguin look does it for you?"

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Aaah, that explains his college presidency

Transitional Moments TA:  "What's Chauncy's damage, what can you boil it down to?"
MDiv Student:  "He's kind of a tight-ass"

Overheard:  section for Transitional Moments II

Friday, February 5, 2010

What happens if you wash it in the blood of the lamb?

MAR student, after a failed attempt at washing out stains from one of the coffee hour mugs: "It's like original sin. It's un-removable."

Sunday, January 31, 2010


Preparing to translate Luke 4 (in which the devil tests Jesus):

Adela Collins: "Now you're going to translate the temptation story.  Are you ready to be tested?"

Student: "Does that mean that you're Satan?"

Adela Collins: *Evil Chuckle*

Overheard: Greek Exegesis of Luke

Friday, January 29, 2010

Or Lady GaGa!

MDiv Student:  "We don't really have idols anymore"
Other MDiv Student: "Yea we do.  Starbucks!"

Overheard: New Testament

(Or Roberta Gibb!)

Boy! The New Testament is full of surprises!

Diana Swancutt: "Sex constitutes marriage.  And it's not just a two-way, it's a three-way."

Overheard in: New Testament

Ha ha! Ha! Heh. Heh. Um. Wha?

(discussing Jephthah's vow)

Harry Attridge: "There are different ways to be faithful to a text."
Student: "Please don't be faithful to it by killing your twelve-year-old daughters."
Harry Attridge: "Not that there aren't temptations to."

Overheard: Difficult Texts

Only for some people!

Student 1: "Oh no, it's a pouty agape angel."
Student 2: "I thought it was a fairy."
Student 3: "Isn't that the problem, really?"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Who loves ya, baby? This gal

Student 1: "There are no dirty, funny jokes about the Bible."
Six students, scattered about the commuter lounge: "Yes there are!"
Student 1: "Well, if  you Google 'dirty Bible jokes' it comes up 'These are jokes that are not dirty.'"
Student 2: "Go to Overheard at YDS"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Seriously. I need more Denys Turner in my life. Come to the Catholic House?

Denys Turner: "Some want to say that the medieval mystics are ineffable, but Pseudo-Dionysius was effing about all over the place."

Overheard: Medieval Theology

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Well... somebody's got to be honest

Denys Turner: "You want to kill a text dead? Do contemporary Biblical Studies!"

Overheard: Medieval Theology

but not phallic, thankfully

Denys Turner, while drawing a pictorial representation of Plato's Cave: I did this once on a board in Bristol, and a bright student said, ‘God, isn’t that phallic.'"

"I know you think of me as God.”

Overheard: Medieval Theology

Saturday, January 23, 2010

As long as you're not dating him BECAUSE he looks like Jesus...

1st-year M.A.R.: "At what point in my relationship with him is it appropriate to tell him that he looks like Jesus?"

Thursday, January 21, 2010

That's either commitment, love, or insanity

1st Year Div student, showing 3rd year how to use a Mac: "See, you can create folders and highlight them."

3rd Year:  "Wow, you can make them colors!  I could color them by class!"

Other 3rd Year:  "Or by liturgical year!"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

You're the professor. You get to talk any time you like!

Diana Swancutt: "The reason I'm talking to you is my PowerPoint doesn't work.  It's a pretty PowerPoint."

Overheard: NT Interpretation

Snakes. Why'd it have to be snakes?

Student 1: "If I take Bruce Gordon's Death class, and the Archeology class, that's Indiana Jones."
Student 2: "Only without the snakes.  And the hat."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

I'm not sure that a male saying it would make any more sense

Female MAR student: "I have to get this paper out of my balls."

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Just like cattle?

Discussing strongholds of various denominations in the US:

Student: "There are more Baptists than people in the state of Texas."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge