Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Monday, December 21, 2009

No comment

"I didn't know flirting was on the syllabus of theological colleges."

"Oh yes, it's the whole second year."

Overheard: Vicar of Dibley

unlike that evil socialist universal health care!

MDiv1: "I don't see why we should be made to listen to the organ voluntary at the end of the service."
MDiv2: "You don't have to listen. You just have to be quiet."
MDiv3: "It's called an organ voluntary, not an organ mandatory."

Overheard: Lessons and Carols at Christ Church, New Haven

Of praise?

MDiv Mom: "Today is Solstice."
MDiv: "Let's sacrifice something!"
MDiv Mom: "You're supposed to let go of something* today."
MDiv: "Jesus"
MDiv Mom: "Hm?"
MDiv: "That was an exclamation, not a suggestion."

*something negative, kiddies

Friday, December 18, 2009

Go gently, young academic

MAR: "Is it bad that I haven't started this paper yet?"
MDiv: "Morally? No. It's not morally bad, but academically you're f*cking yourself."

Overheard: library

The Night Before Transitional Moments

(that's the exam for Transitional Moments in Western Christian History)

by Josh Rodriguez and Chris Corbin

Twas the night before the Church History final and all through the library,
Desperate seminarians said novenas to Mary.
The books were all open and foreheads lined with care;
The final was in Niehbur and they soon would be there.
At the end of the night, when they collapsed into their beds,
Visions of Jesuits danced through their heads.
They knew that this testing their joy would sap;
They’d rather just settle their brains for a Christmas holiday nap.
When out on the Quad there arose such a clatter,
They leaped from their beds to see what was the matter.
When, what to their wondering minds should they feast,
But a council at Nicaea, and Perpetua fed to the beasts.
With a little old writer, did he fabricate thus?
They knew in a moment it was Eusebius.
And the Donation of Constantine! On the forgeries came.
Popes whistled and shouted and tried emperors to tame.
Cults of martyrs and saints rose before being suppressed,
But when it came to preventing Black Death they were put to the test.
Now mystics! Now demoniacs! Now Cathars and Waldensians!
Crusades against Jews, Muslims, heretics, and Albigensians!
To the limits of Christendom! To lands far and near!
Missionaries had to look busy for Jesus soon would be here.
As dry doctrines that before the wild reformers did fly
When they met with such obstinacy, at Trent did decry.
So up to the church door the theses they flew,
Against Johann Tetzel and the Popes too.
And then, with much screaming, the Institutes they do say,
Servetus is dead; hopefully with him his heresies stay.
As they drew in their doctrine, and were mulling around,
Down from France St. Xavier came with a bound.
He dressed like the natives, of habits no fan,
And his learning and letters they came from Japan.
From Goa to China came Jesuits back,
And in learning and letters nothing did lack.
Their pupils -- how they puzzled! They taught them so early!
A man different than seven, I think only rarely!
Oh early moderns and urban centers did grow,
And the behavior of people it reached a new low;
At the stump of a tree or forest glen empty,
And the midnight it came where they gathered a-plenty;
Their souls to the devil, to Satan did they sell,
My God don’t they care that they’ll end up in hell?
To desecrate wafers, a right unholy old task,
And I dread when I see them, in fear for my ass;
A whole town dose cry and a trial then gets heard,
Soon I did know that witches must drown or be burned;
Now speak not a word, but remember Ignatius?
He started new learning with the brothers of Jesus,
Galileo said yes, Ptolemy he said no,
Heliocentric, the sun at the middle arose;
He sprang to his scope, to his Pope he was stressful,
And house arrest he was placed with the church he did wrestle.
But I wonder at last, ere the end is in sight,
The story can’t end here; we’ve got America, right?

Thursday, December 17, 2009

At least not yet

MDiv 1: "I'm looking at Cathars."
MDiv 2: "Cathars?"
MDiv 1: "Cathars, not catheters."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

but it is kosher!

MDiv: "Have you guys ever eaten pigeon?"
MAR: "Yes"
MDiv: "How was it?
MAR: "I find it kind of anemic."

combining heart and head!

(looking at house numbers while driving)

MAR 1: "Oh good, it looks like they're going in order."
MDiv: "Numbers usually do that. (pause) I thought MARs were supposed to be smart."
MAR 2: "We are, but common sense is an MDiv trait."

Overheard: En route to Coalition Christmas Party

Monday, December 14, 2009

Toooootally gets in the way

Student: "I wanna move on to creation and humanity. I hate this God part."

(while studying for Systematics final)

Overheard: Common Room

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Oh drat. I've been eating barley cakes.

Student 1: "And it's all in Mark, so it's all secret."
Student 2: "But, if you send in five Bible box tops, you can get your secret decoder ring!"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Friday, December 11, 2009

Better than Greek or addiction, I say.

MDiv: "I struggle with pastry."

Overheard: Christmas party preparation

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The reason for the season!

Lamin Sanneh: "Ok...um...Jesus..."

Overheard: Christian-Muslim Dialogue

I'm putting that on my NT final

Harry Attridge: "Someone has already asked me about the status of the systematic theology search. Does anyone have any other questions for me?"
Student: "What do we know about the historical Jesus, and how do we know it?"
Harry Attridge: "He was a great guy."

Overheard: Former Profits reception

Oh, religion. Oh, people.

Linky - watch the video. This guy can't be real.

Monday, December 7, 2009

What about fava beans or a nice chianti?

MDiv 1: "Is there meat in this?"
MDiv 2: "Just you-and-me meat."

Overheard: house dinner

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Let's just take a little stroll to student health, OK?

MAR Student: "I really wanted herpes but was short an 's'."

Overheard: Off campus, Thanksgiving day

I am so in... I mean... not that I need it or anything

Scott Dolff: "This class will hopefully help make you into better lovers."

Overheard: Theologies of Christian Community

You've got a real type of thing going down, gettin' down. There's a whole lot of Jesus going round

Julie Kelsey: "Who brought Jesus?"
Student: "I did."
Julie Kelsey: "Why did you bring Jesus?"

Overheard: Nouwen Chapel (preaching section)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I bet Spuds Mckenzie had two names, too. Look what happened to him.

Student 1: "The first Handsome Dan is named Sherman."
Student 2: "Two names? This dog is going to have an identity crisis."
Student 3: "No. It's like nobility."
Student 1: "Or the pope. He has two names."
Student 2: "I dunno. The pope looks pretty confused most of the time."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

What exactly happens in that back room, Micah?

Student 1: "They're doing pictures with Santa at the Yale Bookstore. Do you think I could bring my cat?"
Student 2: "What, as a burnt offering?"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Friday, November 27, 2009

Yeah, that should probably make you uncomfortable.

MAR student: "I guess white is appropriate for today" (wine, that is)
MDiv student: "Is that a colonizer joke?"

Overheard: Thanksgiving Dinner

Awww! I love inclusivity

MAR Student: "Hurry up! We can't pray without the atheist."

Overheard: Thanksgiving Dinner

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Mike G, take note. Our safety is in your hands.

YDS Alumnus: "Can you kill those things?"
MAR Student: "No, not yet. I don't have the right jelly beans."

  • Uh oh
  • creepy?
  • on the other hand, these are awesome for training and I'm accepting donations

Monday, November 23, 2009

I love you, whoever you are.

Student 1: "You're all talking about burning heretics, when all of us would probably be the ones being burned under these laws."

Student 2: "No, no, no. It all depends who's in power. If you're in power you get to burn everyone who disagrees. Orthodoxy is the heresy that wins"

Overheard: Refectory

I don't know. Was it a mitre, tiara, crown of thorns, skullcap, or beret?

Student: "The guy in the funny hat is Jesus, right?"

(looking at a slideshow of artist's representation of the resurrection of Jesus)

Overheard: Introduction to the New Testament

Friday, November 20, 2009

It might be time for a brain reboot, sir.

Denys Turner: Oh damn. I've forgotten my memory stick.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Think of it as passing the peace

During Hearty Eucharist:

Student: "I keep wondering if it's inappropriate to say 'cheers' with the blood of Christ."

Overheard: Marquand

Take these baby carrots, they are my fingers, given for thee

Student1: "So, what does this 'Hearty Eucharist' consist of?"
Student2: "What you're really asking is, 'what's in this body of Christ, so I can decide whether I wish to partake?'"...
Student2: Take this hummus. It is my nervous system, given for thee.

Overheard in: Commuter Lounge, just before "Hearty Eucharist."

Monday, November 16, 2009

Good thing these submissions are anonymous

MAR student: "Why didn't the Jesuits use the idea of purgatory with the Indians?"
MDiv 1: "Well, to enter purgatory you have to be baptized at birth."
MDiv 2: "So what about the good souls who weren't baptized?"
MDiv 1: "If you weren't baptized you went to Dante's outermost level of hell. Which isn't bad, but it's not great. It's kinda like Jersey."

Overheard: Transitional Moments of Western Christian History Section

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Who says I don't?

Denys Turner: "The Song of Songs is about GREAT sex. You just all wish you could have sex that good."

Overheard: History of Biblical Interpretation

Is that of the Far or Near Universe?

Prof. David Eastman: "Wait... quick what is that cartoon where all the little robots make the big robot? Yeah... The Trinity is not Voltron."

(Regarding Augustine's interpretation of the Trinity)

Overheard: Patristics

Only if the Holy Spirit is the wind beneath my wings

MDiv student: "Don't you think that Bette* Midler is a Psalmist of our time?"

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Some day you just might

Student: "You should see the things they have in the shape of a penis!"

Overheard: Coffee Shop

That's STYLE, people

MDiv student: "Dorothy Day is Big Willy."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Friday, November 6, 2009

This is for her "Tulip" alum

Thank you, Lindsay. Come back.

Prevening Ministerial Misconduct has many layers of benefits

MDiv student: "Show me what good touch is!"

Sunday, November 1, 2009

It's all from Adam's rib, of course

MAR student speaking to a costume party attendee: " I want to know: From what did you construct your breasts?"

Overheard: Saints and Sinners

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Adela Yarbro Collins and Leonora Tubbs Tisdale don't know what you mean

YDS Alumna: "Well, with a common enough name, someone's bound to be a pedophile."

(upon Googling her name)

Very carefully, or else it will peck you

M.A.R. Bible Student: "Well, think about ancient Egyptian, I mean, how do you inflect a bird?"

Discussing how Coptic is a non-inflected language

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

So, is OT like surgery and pastoral care the recovery room?

M.A.R. student: "But isn't that what YDS is? A hospital for recovering fundamentalists -- so all of us Pentecostals can come and then get turned into Episcopalians?"

Overheard: Life and Thought of Jonathan Edwards

The market really has gone up!

Student: "Since we can't afford an actual skeleton, here's a pattern we can use. It's kind of cheesy, I know. But actual skeletons are SO overpriced."

Overheard: Common Room

The upperclasspeople have some news for you

MDiv Student: "That's why people go to divinity school. To get married!"
MAR Student: "What?!" (while laughing and nearly choking on food)
MDiv Student: "So you need to start dating as soon as possible!"

Overheard: Commons

Monday, October 26, 2009

And they call US cocky!*

Minister: "So, where did you attend seminary?"

YDS Alumna/Minister: "Oh! I went to Yale Divinity School."

Minister: "Yale Divinity School! I was accepted there. If I hadn't gotten saved, I would have gone there!"

(Then, he just got into his car and drove away.)

(*not really)

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Well, they can afford it

Lutheran student: You know what you are? You're a Southern classist Episcopal woman.

Southern Episcopal Woman: Do you want to take this out side? I will pay someone to beat you up.

Overheard: Refectory

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

It's so convenient!

Male student: "I wish I had a menstrual cycle. I wouldn't need a calendar then."

Overheard: off campus

I'm not sure that's what you meant to say

Professor: "Don't blow your wad on this."

(referring to using commentaries from lectionaries to prepare sermons)

Overheard: Introduction to the Old Testament

Kind of tough for most ladies

Student: "I would be an Eastern Orthodox but I can't grow a full beard. Isn't that one of the requirements?"

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Saturday, October 17, 2009

I bet if you mix the two you get an explosion!

International student: My friend Wikipedia says root beer is awful.
American student: Is root beer our Vegemite?

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Shout out

What's up, Candler?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

and blessed be the Lipitor

MDiv: "...And butter and lard and instant rice... and blest be the tie that binds: cream of mushroom soup."

(preaching on the necessary ingredients for a church potluck casserole)

Overheard: Refectory

Now YOU get to be objectified!

Biblical Hebrew TA: "If there's to be true gender equality, there should be wet t-shirt contests for men."

Overheard: Elementary Biblical Hebrew

All this time I was mistaking the Holy Spirit for gas

Professor Waggoner: "For Barth, this is the first frame in a theological horror movie. Aliens! The Trinity is going to burst out from inside of you!"

(speaking on Rahner's view of God's hidden-ness inside of man)

Overheard: Systematic Theology

Friday, October 9, 2009

Did he have a long white beard and a lightning bolt? If so, run.

An older man passes the hall by the commuter lounge.

Student 1: Hey, wasn't that one of those guys?
Student 2: Who?
Student 1: You know, emeriti or whatever?
Student 2: You mean, like, the old dead white guys whose pictures are up in the
Student 3: Or not quite dead yet, in this case.

Overheard: outside the commuter lounge

Who let you in anyway?

Joseph Britton: "That's what I want to put on a bumper sticker: 'Get your bishop out of my misery and my joy.'"

Overheard: Anglican History & Theology II

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Would transubstantiation and substitutionary atonement help us here?

Student: That's awesome! Can we have a plan for zombie invasion?

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

And there's nothing wrong with a birthday suit!

Dale Peterson: "It wasn't scandalous; he was just naked."

Overheard: YDS bookstore

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Aw yeeeah, boyyyyy!

Dean Britton: "By the way, today is a very important day in the diocese of Virginia. They have a new bishop."

MDiv Student: "Oh Shit!"

Overheard: Berkeley Colloquium

Don't share everything, folks

MDiv: "There are used tissues in my cassock. And they aren't mine."

Overheard: Before Eucharist in Marquand

Friday, October 2, 2009

Or Aramaic for Tequila?

M.Div Student (in a bad Scottish Accent): "In the Bible they said Jesus turned water into Wine, which is just Hebrew for Scotch."

Overheard: Berkeley Dinner

Is Prozac like a can of Off?

Prof. Denys Turner: "Life is like a swarm of mosquitoes. You can only swat one at a time, and there's always ten more."

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The job market is tough these days

MDiv #1: "So anyway, in this book, she was trying to sell herself for money."
MAR: "What else would you sell yourself for? Lima beans?"
MDiv #2: "I would never sell myself for lima beans. I might sell myself for tofu, though."

Overheard: on Prospect Street

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

What about Baal(s)?

Guest preacher: Where did Esther get the gumption? Can I say, where did she get the balls?
Voice from congregation: No!
Guest preacher: Well, I can't think of any other way to say it.

Overheard in Marquand worship

Not even on Halloween?

Patrick Evans: We've never had a bad nun in Marquand.

Overheard: in the hall

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Like David, the boy in the bubble?

Mdiv student, speaking on personal boundaries: My bubble? It's firm.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Not even a Cardinal?

Teresa Berger: "I don't believe the Trinity is two men and a little bird."

Overheard in Foundations of Christian Worship

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Not according to your Hebrew Bible students...

John Collins: I live for the caffeine.

Overheard at: Coffee Hour

Monday, September 21, 2009

Well, that depends...

Student : So hopefully I'm fertile...

Overheard in: Pope Seminar Room

Thursday, September 17, 2009

mysterious ways

Lecturer: I was listening to a sermon where the preacher used an example of God as a laxative, which really wasn't a good idea.

Student: So you could say God moved them...

Overheard: Intro to Christian Worship

Monday, September 14, 2009

Preparing leaders for church and world

Student 1 (looking at the Drug Prevention that came with our id stickers): This is insulting.

Student 2: I prefer to think of it as a helpful guide to what to take, and when. For example, it says that tonight I should be taking meth, so I can concentrate on the 100 pages I need to read and not sleep.

Overheard in Commuter Lounge

Or: 'I should have had beans for lunch.'

Tom Troeger: [Imagine] you want to get to Jesus, but can't because of the crowd. What are you thinking?

Student: Hey, can you act like a leper?

Overheard in: Principles of Preaching

Getting bigger, apparently

Student, opening a king-size Snickers bar after eating a huge refectory sandwich: I don't need to eat this. What am I doing with my life?

Friday, September 11, 2009

So, is House of the Lord like craft time?

Student 1: I have done NOTHING since classes started.

Student 2: It's Yale Divinity Summer Camp. It's great!

Heard in: Commuter lounge

I was hoping Kate Spelman was somehow involved. Alas, no.

And delicious!

Student's spouse: Tsatsiki sauce has yogurt and cucumbers in it. It's like an expensive facial for your mouth.

Heard in: The Refectory

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Look busy

Sign posted on seminar room S100: The Messiah has moved to Niebuhr.

You're like a pirate!

Student: The Episcopalians put lime in my gin. I approve. It may be the only citrus I get this year.

Overheard in: Commuter Lounge

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Can we use that in chapel?

Margot Fassler: Your brain is naked.... You're a rattle with one pea!

Overheard in: Chant and Liturgy in the Latin Middle Ages

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

That's what scientists are known for

Student: You should socialize with people from other schools . . . (talking about science grad students) They're all pretty down there. It's no fair. They never see the sun.

Overheard in: Commuter Lounge

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Only without the racism!

YDS staff member looking at songbird on railing: I wouldn’t be surprised if it hopped on Dale Peterson’s shoulder right now and started singing Zippity Doo Dah.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

No boos!

Student 1: So the real question is, who is taking over Overheard at YDS?
Me: [amazing student]!
Student 2: Yay!
Student 3: Yeah!
Student 4: Booo?

overheard: graduation bbq

As an official graduate of YDS, it's time for me to leave the ranks of you commoners and start living the high life as an alum. Rest assured, you are in wonderful hands. I trust my replacement to find the funniest, wittiest, most theologically ridiculous quotes possible, but she can't do it without you. You can submit quotes through the comments as usual or email them to our new email address at overheard.at.yds@gmail.com.

I will be with you always, to the end of the age.*

*Just in another state. Come visit?? Also, assuming the apocalypse comes, I'm going to be in need of an expert. Second Temple students, I'm looking at you.

We have a lot to teach the older generations

Second Career MDiv student: "It's true! Someone told me they saw it on Facebook!"

Let's not confuse the two

Student 1: (translating) The prophet led the children out of the temple and into the desert.
Professor: Good. Soooo, kind of a sketchy prophet there.
Student 2: Bet he didn't have safe sex training . . . I mean safe church. Oh, whatever the euphemism is.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Is he using a revolving door?

Student: Does Greek have the ability to tell you if Jesus is coming or going?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

How about "howdy" and "corn pone"?

Professor: If you're the kind of person who translates the second person plural as "y'all," then the proper translation of "Mello" is "is fixin' te"

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Some languages die for good reasons

Professor: Of course, that grammar rule is not hard and fast.
Student: It's just hard.

Friday, June 5, 2009

The real consequence of divorce

Student: I mean, these children are going to two different places.
Professor: It's the children of heaven and the children of earth.
Student: Oh. Two sets of kids.

Is the inverse necessarily true?

Student 1: Can you explain that again?
Professor: Well, -
Student 1: Wait. Got it.
Student 2: You're such a great teacher, you don't even have to say anything.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Congratulations YDS class of 2009!

Many congratulations to the Class of 2009! This one's for you:

Monday, May 25, 2009

Fine! I will!

Denys Turner: Go. It's time for you to go.

Overheard: Commencement worship

Made: I wanna be a priest

Three-drink M.Div: My life is a TV show MTV wishes it were cool enough to produce.

Overheard: GPSCY

Saturday, May 23, 2009

It's going to be a loooooong weekend

Family member to another: NO! I am not going to buy Lemonade Tycoon for you!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

OH@YDS on Twitter!

We've been twittered! The Yale Divinity School Twitter has found us.... Quick, look like we're doing homework.

Fierce inclusive language

Students singing to Joan Osbourne's One of Us: If God had a name, what would it be and would you call it to his face...
Student: HER FACE!

Overheard: Karaoke at GPSCY

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Must not be a cheese connoisseur

1st Year MDIV: I tend to be suspicious of anything that smells funny on purpose.

Avoid daycare work

Student trying to print something out: I'm going to get this if I have to sacrifice 20 children to Moloch.

Monday, May 18, 2009

YDS Graduate Fun Week!

Come for one event, come for all, just come help us celebrate the achievements of our fellow students! As always, all are welcome to these events. Bring your families, your friends, your arch nemesis. Sponsored by YDS 2009 Class Officers!

Movie Night/Make Your Graduation Attire

Stop by the Common Room at 3 PM to make your individualized graduation gear to wear at Commencement downtown. In years past it's been halos on the cap, this year we're planning on making wings. We provide the supplies, you bring your hands and imagination.

Then let's watch a movie at sunset (8 PM). We'll be watching Slumdog Millionaire (Slumdunder Mifflinaire?), with informative remarks before starting by film student Sean McAvoy. Bring beverages, bring families and friends. Pizza provided. LOCATION CHANGE: We'll be in RSV, so meet us there at 8!

WEDNESDAY: Beach Day/Karaoke at GPSCY

Spend the day on a beautiful beach with your fellow students, families and friends! We leave from the YDS parking lot at 11 AM for the Hammonasset Beach State Park. Pack a lunch, your frisbee and your swimsuit for an afternoon in the sun.

Email me (lindsay.bacher@yale.edu) if you're planning on attending or if you can drive.

After soaking up the sun, head out to GPSCY for a night of Karaoke. We'll have the back room reserved for singing shenanigans, and if we're lucky, someone's going to do Journey. Bring your ID and Yale ID for admission.


Tonight we head out to the local lanes! Put on your polyester and impress everyone with your 7th grade bowling skills. If you need a ride, meet us at YDS at 7 PM to ride together, otherwise meet us there. Bowling alley TBD, open to suggestions.

FRIDAY: Graduation Rehersal and Make Your Own Attire/BBQ

Practice makes perfect, so join us on the Quad at 10:30 AM to hear all about the various ceremonies and practice your "shake with the right hand, reach with the left." There will be food afterwards, so why not? Also afterwards, we'll have materials set up so you can make your wings for graduation if you haven't done so already.

Then join us at 5:30 for a cookout on the Knoll (grassy area between the div school and apartments). We'll have the usual - burgers, vegiburgers, hot dogs, soda, beer and fun. If your family's in town already, bring them and introduce them to Dale (he'll never forget them, so it's a good test for the future).

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Not everyone can live in the Div School Apartments

Student: Hah, God's a bushdweller, according to Deuteronomy.

People in real life are getting married, too

Student: People on facebook are getting married and I'm in my convent still!

The only maid I want to be is Maid Marion, but that's because of my Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor complex

Woman: I don't like the term "maid of honor" ... It's marital status-ist!

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Brush up on your anatomy, buddy

Gay div student: That does not look like a vagi... does it?

Overheard: While playing a party game

At least learning about God in a classroom

Episcopal MDiv: I just finished my last theology class! I didn't tell my bishop, but I am done learning about God.

Overheard at: dinner party

Monday, May 11, 2009

Tankinis are!

Student: I don't know how people wear bikinis... It must not be my spiritual gift.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

At least you got your global warming joke right

Sister: I was taking my Ecology test and it asked how old the Earth was.
Student: Did you put 6,000 years?
Sister: Damn, I put 4,000! I messed up my Bible joke!

You sound like forestry students

Student 1: There was so much tree semen on our patio table this morning.
Student 2: We should walk around in body suits so that the trees don't impregnate us.

Good thing you came to a bbq

German guy: I collect meat.

Overheard: End of Year BBQ

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The commuter lounge is the lowest common denominator of div school students

Student in the background: "It's like making out with a giant piece of chicken."
Bruce Gordon: "I had high expectations when I came to Yale, and I'm glad to know my expectations were met."

overheard: commuter lounge

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

E-dar? I like it!

Student 1: Look at their website. Use your evangelical eyes and see what you think.
Student 2: My e-dar?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Next is baby pictures

Student: This is the benefit of going to a Christian college… There are always wedding photos on facebook I haven’t seen.

They'll make you more, you know

Student 1: Ugh! God! They are out of coffee! All four, out of coffee!
Student 2: Good thing it's exam time, cause someone's getting a little bit testy...

Overheard in the refectory:

What heterophobia

MAR Student: Yeah, so if there were any chance of me being turned gay, [blank] would be the one to do it.
MAR Student 2: But you're really straight, though. You're so straight, it's borderline destructive.
MAR Student 1: I'm destructively heterosexual?
MAR Student 2: Yup.

Where: Curtis Hall

You need a drink

Student 1: Did you know Hillary Clinton has a job approval rating of 71%? That's crazy!
Student 2: Do you know what else is crazy? The low, low prices at Barbarino's Chevy!
Student 3: Bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-barino! .... oh my god, this week needs to be over.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

But who is Ronald McDonald?

MAR Student: It's just like corporate America. She'll be the Philip Morris of the Div School.

overheard: sunday brunch

Good logic.

M. Div 1: I just don't think that Jesus could have saved the world in three years if he was straight. Straight men aren't that efficient.
M. Div 2: Right. Further proof that Jesus was a woman.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Take some more then

(grabs left over food from conference and shoves 3 or 4 bagels in bag)
Student: These are the good bagels. You can't let these go.

But you're reading

Student, while reading the Acts of Paul: This is like watching a bad beer commercial!

Because he wasn't there?

(mentions another student)
Student 1: Is he a second year?
Student 2: No, he's a first year.
Student 1: Ok, that makes sense. I don't remember seeing him last year.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Glad someone listened in OT

Student 1: I'm drunk. Kiss me. I'm Hosea.
Student 2: I'm your roommate. I'm Hosea. You're my slutty wife.

Overheard at: Spring Fling

I think she's the only one who can pull that off

(following a conversation about various ways in which a student who wanted to do so might become pregnant)

Student 1: Not in vitro fertilization. I can't do that. I'm Catholic. It's a sin.
Student 2: You're single. How are any of the other things we've discussed not a sin?
Student 3: You can try to be sinless; it worked for Mary.

Overheard in: commuter lounge

He IS the man!

Div Student: Dale! You're the man! I mean that in the complimentary sense, not the misogynistic, patriarchal sense!

Overheard at Spring Fling

And you probably smell great

(A bee is circling a student.)

Student: It's because I look like a flower. I'm being objectified as a flower.

Overheard: class on the quad

Not too hard?

Emilie Townes, in prayer: Goose them, O God.

overheard: Marquand Chapel

It's the ringtone for my mom

M.Div. ringtone: "Daaa daaa da da daa..."
Ralph Klein: Is that your candidacy committee calling?

overheard: Lutheran Colloquium

Sage advice

Male Div Student playing Castlevania: Meat Loaf doesn't want you to save the game; he wants the game to save you.

Where: Curtis Hall

Use protection!

Area Three:
REL 735: Intro to Post-Reformation STDs
Instructor: A Neele
Tu, 1:30 - 3:20pm.

Where: YDS Draft Course Schedule - Fall 2009

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Too much studying

(student 1 takes a drink of water and spills it all over)
Student 1: Yeah, friends, I can take a drink of water without spilling it, I just don't WANT to.
Student 2: I don't subscribe to water binaries.
Student 3: Stupid cultural hegemonic norms!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Night cheese!

Student: Wait, why am I.... oh, because I'm eating cheese.

Overheard: commuter lounge

What people are you talking about?

Student: For a person, 'nonexistent' and 'don't drink' are the same thing.

Overheard: Lunchtime on the quad

Go sleeveless

Alumni preparing for ordination: I'm trying to find an outfit that will make me look like Michelle Obama about to be ordained!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Getting gay married in Marquand

Check out this Yale Daily News article about some fellow Div School students/alums and how they're going to get gay married. The idea of gay Christians perplexes everyone downtown, it seems.

Congratulations to both Javen and Oby and Diana and Sarah!

No SUV, earn an H

Random person knocks on classroom door: Excuse me, does anyone drive a black SUV parked outside?


Student 1: I don’t think anyone would actually admit it here.

Willis Jenkins: Yea, they’d be in some serious need of moral therapy…That was actually a test question, I’m gonna have random people come in here and ask questions.

Overheard: Environmental Ethics

Leave that to Swancutt

Carolyn Sharp: So, he's a hero. I will complicate that in a moment.


Carolyn Sharp: I don't mean to mess with your understanding of the New Testament. That's not my job. That will happen for you next year.

Overheard: OT

Tell us how you really feel

Denys Turner: And Julian is a cow. Oh, that's unintentional. I'll be quoted now. Bernard of Clairveaux is a cow, too.

Overheard in Medieval Theology

But have you seen his robes? So gay.

MAR student: Although you may be judged at the eschaton for thinking Luther was a mo.

overheard: common room

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

What a lovely shade of red you are

(after hearing about a website)
Student 1 (whispers): Was that .com or .org?
Student 2 (whispers): I think .com
(student 1 goes to website)
Student 1: Oooh. (turns bright red)
Kristen Leslie: Yes?
Student 1: Make sure you go to howsexworks.org instead of .com.

Overheard: Gaycare

Monday, April 20, 2009

I'm pretty sure those aren't Sheryl Crow lyrics

Student: As the sage Sheryl Crow once said... "I just wanna have fun."

Must do yoga

(regarding Marquand liturgical dance chapel)
Student: I can't believe how loose Miroslav's hips were!

Overheard: common room

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Keep telling yourself that

(randomly snapping along to music)
Student: I have a music degree! I am doing really intricate off beat snapping!

Something you have to tell me about

Drunk student: If I'm going to hell anyway, what's one tryst in a worship space?

Both required to live there

Student: We're at the Catholic House, where fun and awkward meet.

overheard: CHouse


(on jello)
Student: Ew, ew, ew. It's like KY.

overheard: jello wrestling/birthday party

Geographical regions?

Student: Well, I haven't used a condom on my penis as of yet, but I have used it for many different regions.

overhead in: kitchen

We are a third gender

The Lovely Linda, misconduct trainer: Most people view clergy as, you know, asexual ... men over here, women here, clergy over there.

overheard: Ministerial Misconduct

Friday, April 17, 2009

Atonement in 140 characters or less

Student 1: What if Good Friday had a twitter account?
Student 2: Haha, that'd be great!
Student 1: "Jesus is up on the cross"
Student 2: "He's not looking very good."
Student 3: "Can we get rid of all these crying women?"
Student 1: "One of the thieves is yelling something... The other one looks pretty nice."
Student 2: "I don't think that middle one is going to make it..."

overheard: coffee hour

Thursday, April 16, 2009

None of mine either.

Student: I'm a Catholic woman. My womb is not my business.

Overheard: Commuter lounge

Class agents and my loan company

Student 1: What are class agents?
Student 2: The people who are going to be asking for your money for the rest of your life.

Overheard: senior class reception

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

No comment

Peter Hawkins: Jesus is extremely cut, and look at how that drapery is hanging...
Evangelical student: OH.

overheard: Passion in Lit and Art

You show Microsoft!

Student: Presider isn't a word in Microsoft Word... well, it is now.

And I love you for it

M.Div. Student 1: Were you guys instructed to wear easter-like ties?
M.Div. Student 2: No, that's just the gay boy MO.

overheard: whilst drinking post-Easter Rejoicing

I don't know about you, but I'm cool

Student: We're some of the most awkward people ever! We're divinity students!

overheard: commuter lounge

Monday, April 13, 2009

Inappropriate... but funny.

Student 1: I always think of you when I'm in church.
Student 2: I thought you were going to say I always think of church when I'm in you... which would have been highly inappropriate.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

happy easter!

No, really! I know someone on tv!

(watching John Collins on the History Channel)
Student: He sounds a little sick.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Jenkin's rose is in bloom

[students off-key singing Kiss From a Rose]
Student 1: Wait, so did he really work for Seal?
Student 2: ... Who?
Student 1: Willis Jenkins?!

Monday, April 6, 2009

The spatha on Golgotha? Ok, that's a stretch. I admit it.

Student: The Cross is rounds one, two, and three of a prizefighter who may be playing rope-a-dope.

Overheard in Theologies of Militarization

I'm a fan of pants-free Tuesdays

Student: Happy Cleansing of the Temple Monday. . . .

My favorite day [of Holy Week] is Spy Wednesday

Overheard in Niebuhr Hall

Hey - bad fashion is MY thing. MARs represent.

MAR number one: These pants were a dollar. A DOLLAR!

MAR number two: You're going to ride this bad economy all the way to Fashionville, aren't you?

overheard @: wall and college streets

Almost as good as "you can stand under my adela ella-ella"

YDS El Salvador Mission Trip students (to the tune of "Karma Chameleon):

Trini- Trini- Trini- Trini-
You're three in One
You're three in O-o-one.
Consubstantial with the Father
But you're three hypostases,
Just like the creeds,
The Nicene cree-ee-eeds.

Get with it, Episcoposse

Guest speaker on media relations: Next rule - always call reporters back if you say you will. Even if the church is on fire. Especially if the church is on fire, because then there will be pictures.
Student in back: See? Now if we'd been allowed to use laptops, that would have been posted to "Overheard at YDS."

Overheard in: Anglican Colloquium

Patrick can be my verb anytime

Student 1 (to fellow student who was "helpfully" singing lyrics half a measure
ahead of the recording): Hey! Don't Patrick Evans this song!
Student 2: Patrick Evans is a verb?
Student 3: Quick! Someone find a gourd!

Overheard at: party

Facebook Haggadah

The Facebook Haggadah.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Dental hygiene makes me feel better too

Student: I was feeling kind of bad about my day, and I was trying to decide if I should floss before I brushed my teeth so I thought, "Do it - it'll make you feel better." Flossing was my pick-me-up for today...

Cur Deus Vinegar

Student 1: Professor Beeley said lots of people either think Jesus was a moral exemplar or they are Anselmic Atonement Freaks.
Student 2. I have been going to school here for three years and I don't understand what you just said.
Señor Downs: Well, Anselmic is a kind of vinegar.

Overheard at Señor Clark Down's hacienda

Friday, April 3, 2009

I agree

Student 1: These goats had huge balls, giant balls!
Student 2: I am so glad you are going to be a priest.

Overheard: Friday Fellowship

Beeley on fire

Christopher Beeley: [After a discussion of Feuerbach] We are all soooo fabulous.

Beeley: Kenotic christology is Very. Seductive.

Student: It's like you're a hair shirt for her.
Beeley: I've heard that one before.

Beeley: He [William Temple] died in 1944 and I have a special revelation from him; so you see, the Gnostics were underrated.

Overheard: Anglican History and Theology

Wagons ho!

M.Div. student, reacting to the Iowa gay marriage decision: TO THE WEST!!!

overheard: common room

It must be ministerial misconduct weekend!

Student 1 to Student 2: And don't have sex with your parishoners, ESPECIALLY if they're children.

Overheard: entering the library

What an amazing conversation

Overheard at the YDS Student Book Supply:

Student D: Hey, this sale is totally terrible. Micah is the worst manager ever.

Student L: That’s true, but at least he’s a good looking human person.

Student Gamma: Hey, you know what’s going to be great about the sale?

Student 4932: What?

Student Harry Attridge: Micah will have popcorn in the bookstore today like every Friday from 12.00pm-3.30pm! And also, the sale is totally amazing.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Jealous and so cute

Graduating student: I looked at pictures of puppies for three hours last night.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Gotta love the vag

(noting high HIV infection rates for male-to-male sexual contact and heterosexual sexual contact)
Kristen Leslie: The whole lesson here is to be a lesbian!

Overheard: GLBTQ pastoral care

The most logical answer is, of course, the rapture

Sister: Did I tell you about when I thought you were all raptured? I tried calling you, mom, and dad one Sunday morning and no one answered. Finally I got through to [brother] and he wasn't sure where [sister-in-law] was... I was freaked.
Student: ... It was Sunday morning during church... We were all at church.
Sister: Kind of like the second coming.
Student: Nope. Not at all.

I vote poison or sting operation

Student: I'm a little disturbed by the amount of people that have suggested poison at a way to figure out who is the Refectory thief.

I'm a bigger fan of roboting for Christ

Student: I pop and lock for Christ all the time.

For NT, yes

Student: Is it exegesis-fun-time yet?

Overheard: Common Room

... he IS an organist, you know.

M.Div. Student: I think the end of [the hymn] outed [the organist].

overheard: coffee hour

I wanna evangelize you

Student preacher: I'm obviously gay. In the conversion scale, I'd be a twofer!

overheard in Marquand Chapel

Monday, March 30, 2009

Next puzzle is my dipolma

Bill Goettler (to two students working on a 2,000 piece puzzle of Leonardo da Vinci's Last Supper in the common room): You know, there are only so many ways to say, "I'm almost outta here."

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Overheard at HDS? yeah, right.

To the person who came here by searching "overheard at harvard divinity school": You only WISH they were as cool as we are. Aw, snap.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

It thinks you're funny too... may not help on the exam though

1st year MAR, considering praying over her study outline for OT: I've been finding prayer funny lately!

They live on it when they're ice fishing!

Denys Turner: The Lutherans all congregate around Lake Wobegon, don't they?

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The only thing that would make you better is if you had cheese inside!

Small Child: What's *your* name?
Frank Griswold: My name is Frank.
Small Child: Frank? That's my dad's favorite kind of hot dog!

Overheard @: BDS community eucharist

Get that kid an octodog!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Eyes to yourself

Student: The inaugural poet caught me liturgically cruising her in chapel today.

Maybe he shouts "celery!"

(staff tosses up a piece of celery and catches it in his mouth, makes excited noise)
Student: If that's the noise he makes when he catches celery, I wonder what noise he makes when he orgasms.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Not "get me a sandwich"?

God, to Moses: Well, sweetheart, I'm gonna make it simple. Just four words: "Let my people go."

overheard: Marquand Chapel

no babies no babies no babies

Kristen Leslie: They argue that it's anti-family because gay people can't have sex for procreation.
Straight female student to gay student (quietly): We have one thing in common... We've both never had sex for procreation.

overheard: glbtq pastoral care

It was just spring break? What did you do?!

(introducing in class)
Student 1: This is [name], my boyfriend, visiting for the week. He even did some of the reading!
Student 2: (under breath) More than I did…

Fire truck as herse?

(describing church funerals with no liturgies)
Teresa Berger: ...then you go to the woods and let the fire department bury you.

Overheard: In the Face of Death class

but Jesus can, so it doesn't matter

(during the time for prayer)
M.Div student: I can't feel my shoulder anymore.

overhead at: Tuesday's Marquand Chapel service about covenant

Monday, March 23, 2009

Yes! You first.

(after getting stones at chapel door)
Student: Are we stoning someone today?

Overheard: Chapel

Saturday, March 21, 2009

It's no Equus, though

Church member 1: So what's the deal with sex and horses in Jane Austen?
Church member 2: There is a bit of that, isn't there? Well you know what the literary critics say about dancing and sex in Jane Austen...

Overheard At: Church Coffee Hour

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Student: In my midterm, I was talking about the fury of Yahweh... but I actually wrote "the furry of Yahweh."

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A new way to waste your time

Since I know you don't have anything better to do during break, these are BRILLIANT.

Bible Fight

The Brick Testament

I challenge you to a Bible Fight after break. Practice up, folks.

Links courtesy of Terry and my brother.

Friday, March 6, 2009

It's ok if it's consensual.

Student 1: Have fun on the McDougal drunk train tonight... I hope no one takes advantage of you.
Student 2: I'll be fine. I'm going with [student] so we'll probably just take advantage of each other.

But his kid's adorable!

Student on Joel Baden: I imagine his kid crapping and him making some sarcastic comment.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


Student: Hehehehe, did you know the Slifka Center is on Wall St. by Temple? hehehehe...

Monday, March 2, 2009

In invasion of the body snatchers?

Ed Waggoner: So, the question is, when do the Christians get bodysnatched?

Overheard: Theologies of Militarization

That's what I call makin' babies!

Student 1: Then we would ask 'Where did this student go?' Well, she was in the forest, making babies.
Student 2: What? Out of twigs?

Overheard in Commuter Lounge

Like ghosts with platinum cards

Student 1: We have lots of buildings but no people. You have more buildings with more no people.
Student 2: How many more no people?
Student 3: We have expensive no people.

Overheard in Commuter Lounge

Pretty big reason

Student 1: Oh, why didn't I become a nun?
Student 2: Because you like sex?

Yes, yes it was.

Gay student: Oh my god, it's Monday and I forgot to buy my tickets for Rufus Wainwright. (pause) That was the most whiny gay thing I've ever said.

Saturday, February 28, 2009


(Holding a screwdriver - the tool, not the drink)
MAR student: Need anything screwed?

MDiv student: What I need screwed doesn't require a screwdriver.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Or anti-fleshist

MAR student: I like my men with some meat on their bones.

MDiv student: [Name], are you being fleshist?!

Overheard: Walking from the Div. school to downtown

Syric Homework: The Miniseries

Student 1, working on Syriac homework:

“I just can't figure out what is going on in this passage! Why are there elephants? People!? A city!?! A wall!?!? Water!?!?!”

(5 minutes later)

“What the f*** does that word mean! I just looked it up, damn it! Oh, f****, I'll look it up again.”

(3 seconds later)

“Where the hell is mem! The letter mem!”

(5 minutes later)

“They're under attack by innumerable elephants, but I don't know who is doing it or why.”

(2 minutes later)

“This is crazy! I feel like I'm in the middle of this war!”

(5 minutes later)

“Now randomly there is a divine temple! Where the hell did the temple come from!”

(26 minutes later)

“I really wish they would stop praying...”

(7 minutes later)

“I'm trying to figure out if the bishop is filling or killing the horseman with cows. Cows...or...something else.”


“Ah, yes! It's filling! Filling them with cows. But, I just don't see how that could be...”

(Pauses, strokes chin, looks puzzled)

“Oh! Oh! Encouragement! He's filling them with encouragement! I was conflating 'the rest of the people' with 'cows.'”

Student 2:
“There's a fine line between cows and encouragement...”

Student 1:
(Incoherent whimpering)
“I don't know why its doing that! I wish it would stop! Oooh....”
(Groans, rocks in fetal position)


Unexpected silences are the best

(song ends and everything gets quiet)
Student: ...and then all your fluids are released.

overheard: party

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Student 1: I wrote a paper about what happens after we die last year... but I never got it back.
Student 2: That's got to be a metaphor for something.

Overheard in Fisher Hall

No need to break it down

Student 1: What happened to Hammer?
Student 2: It must not be Hammertime anymore.

Overheard: Common Room

Where's JC then?

Student: My computer is so slow, it must be the eschaton.

Overheard: Common Room

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Student: Wait... rock me, sexy Jesus or sex exegesis?

I hear myself thinking that's bullshit...

Student: Sometimes maybe you just need to call out the bullshit.
Kristen Leslie: That's advanced pastoral care.

Overheard: BLTGQ Pastoral Care

So... it's nothing like "America: The Book"

MDiv: Have you seen that book we're supposed to read? It's like "America, the Book," only it's about church and it's serious.

Overheard in Niebuhr Hall.

No, it's This Is Howie Do It! But without Howie Mandel.

Student: Is this your receipt?
Bruce Gordon: From the Disney Store? [Giggles] No, I've never been there.
Student: Oh, I didn't know.
Bruce Gordon: Is this some sort of coordinated humiliation?

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Prior life?

Teaching Fellow: The highest level of contemplation for monks, well, it's been likened to post-orgasmic afterglow. That's all I'm saying.
MDiv: But, then, how would the monks know about it?

Overheard in Medieval Theology section

I'd hope so... the original is quite long.

Carolyn Sharp: You could read the whole Hebrew Bible, or my handout, which is shorter.

Overheard in Old Testament Interpretation


Denys Turner: I've written an article... I've worked up to it but I don't have the climax. It's like sex without the orgasm.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Too soon... too soon.

Student 1: I mean, he's trying to claim that Judaism was a proselytizing religion.
Student 2: Maybe the way they were at Shechem!
[Laughter all around.]

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Thursday, February 19, 2009


(Student 1 says something funny and Student 2 laughs, bending forward)
Student 1: Anything to make [student 2] bend over...

What's what I was thinking about... what were YOU thinking about?

Student: I'm going to go listen about some guy's balls. [laughter] Aw, come on, it's the Ugaritic Baal cycle.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Who knows where we would be without pancakes!

Diana Swancutt: His gaze of someone else disrupted his ability to eat pancakes! This is not a minor thing! Society is structured on IHOP!

Overheard: GLBTQ Pastoral Care

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Little from column A, little from column B

Female Student 1: So, how are you feeling about your chances with ---?
Female Student 2: (putting head in hand) Not good. Not good at all. That man drives me to drink...and exercise.

~Overheard in Common Room

Monday, February 9, 2009

Must be a great guy

Student: Ooh, there's number 7! He scored twice last night! He's really cute and definitely a good guy. He went to my high school and WASN'T involved with the scandal.

Overheard: Yale/Dartmouth hockey game

Not true! Celibate and old people, for instance. Unless you're Harold-and-Mauding it.

Student: You don't live on an island. There's always someone you could be having sex with.

-Overheard in the Refectory

All my "roommates" are euphemisms.

(on phone)

“We're roommates.”


“No, grandma, it's not a euphemism.”


“Well, it's sort of like polygamy without the man.”

Overheard in commuter lounge

Bible is also NOT a trilogy. Well, could be trinitarian, I guess.

Student: The Lord of the Rings is a long trilogy and there's a lot in it, but not nearly as much as there is in the Bible.

-Overheard in the Refectory

The Collins adapt so well to pop songs

[to the tune of American Boy]
Student 1: You'll be my Adela Collins, my Adela Collins.
Student 2: How about - You can stand under my Adela, ella, ella, eh eh eh eh?

the passion of the tchotchke

In honor of reading week, my birthday, and updating on breaks to entertain Susan Olson, here's the passion of the tchotchke. Kate, who sent me the link, likes the lamp the best, but I'm going to have to go with the ties.

PS It was my birthday on Friday.
PpS I like religious kitsch, as evidenced by my Sacred Heart of Jesus wrist watch.
PPPS Did I mention it was my birthday?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Randall Balmer on the Daily Show

In case you missed it, YDS's former visiting professor Randall Balmer was on The Daily Show last night talking about his new book, God In The White House, or as he likes to call it, The Show That Appears Daily.

I bet someone could get a dissertation out of that.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Thanks for the clarification

Professor, reading T-shirt: "God loves vaginas"

Student: "Does this look familiar or what?"

Professor "Yeah, it does. I have a few. [Long pause] T-shirts!"

Dan Brown's the reason my grandma is interested in my education

Gordon Lathrop: Irenaeus is one of the bad guys in the Dan Brown school of church history.

Overheard: Liturgical Theology

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

So much love

Student: I sent a lot of Agape Grams today... Does that make me an agape whore?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

No lovin' without babies

(watching a very affectionate couple exit the restaurant through a back door)

"Sober" M.Div: I bet you twenty bucks they're going back there to fuck.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my GOD, when did you become so cynical??
"Sober" M.Div: That's not being cynical! That's a beautiful thing. They're going to make a baby.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my God, when did you become Roman Catholic?

Aw, snap!

Joel Baden: What is this here?
Student 1: Merism.
Joel Baden: So what does that mean?
Student 1: ... Uh, everything?

Monday, February 2, 2009

How about crew?

Peter Hawkins: Comitatus means friends, group... for hip hop reasons, I prefer the word posse.

overheard: Passion of Christ in Lit and Art

At least it's done in fellowship?

Bruce Gordon: It's like giving them the middle finger of fellowship, basically.

Overheard in: Reformation Europe

Help it catch on, people.

MDiv Student: This room is cold and suspiciously dark ...
MAR Student: Like my soul! [Pause.] I think that's, like, the Div School equivalent of "That's what she said."

Good logic.

Student 1: Who are you rooting for in the Super Bowl?
Student 2: Well, Luther's father was a miner and I don't think he'd support the Cardinals...

Saturday, January 31, 2009

So no Monopoly at SOM?

Student: During Hungry, Hungry Hippos at the Forestry school, I suggested we make sure everyone have enough to eat and someone said I definitely go to the div school.

Why would she text a family member then?

Student: Hah! My sister just sent me a text that said, "Oh my god. The rapture must have happened since none of my family members are answering their phones."

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

You'd never eat it otherwise

Student: It's always disappointing to find out what you're eating is actually tofu.

Overheard in the refectory

Especially on hip-hop night

Student 1: They have an inflatable penis.
Student 2: Even on hip-hop night?!?

-Overheard whilst walking past the commuter lounge

If this involves community theater, I want a video.

1st year MAR: I was a GOOD Pinocchio! I just want you to know that.

Excuse me, I'm the only one who can win twice

1st year MAR: It's a win-win situation. I win twice!

I see an iPod commerical out of this somehow

1st YR. MAR: I groove on the tree of life.

Only if you wear a three pointed hat

(On soliciting involuntary comments from students who may or may not have done the reading)
Fr. Tony Jarvis: This is the reign of terror, by the way. Call me Robespierre.

Overheard in Educational Leadership & Ministry

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I wish I knew the question

(walking through common room)
Student: OH, ZIP IT.

If not, I'm just going to call myself best man anyway

Student 1: Can I be invited to your wedding? CAN I BE THE BEST MAN?!?
Student 2: I hadn't really thought about best man stuff since I didn't think I'd have a white person wedding.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Once you figure out what that means

Student: I once heard this nondenominational pastor preach four or five sermons on sexual morality...
Ralph Klein: He was for it, I presume.

Overheard: Lutheran colloquium

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Color coordinating is a good thing

(commenting on adjacent students using a combination of black and white MacBooks)
M.Div: Wow, you guys are like a double-stuffed Oreo.

Overheard in Liturgical Theology


Student 1: What'd you do with the leftover body of Jesus?
Student 2: I ate it...
Student 1: ALL OF IT?
Student 2: It was sourdough!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kilts optional

(on Bruce Gordon)
Student: It's important to be taught Reformation history with a Scottish brogue.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The Word was with God and the Word was fabulous

Peter Hawkins: He [Jesus] doesn't say a word in Mark, Matthew or Luke [passion narratives]. He certainly does in John. He's fabulous in John!

Overheard: Passion of Christ in Lit and Art

I value awesomeness, but mostly my own

Willis Jenkins: If it turns out that blue whales are just AWESOME and we're the type of species that values 'awesomeness,' then it follows blue whales would deserve our protection.

Overheard: Environmental Ethics

Spreading ManBearPig Awareness in DC

Student 1: Look, there's Al Gore... his beady eyes looking out at everything.
Student 2: He's looking for ManBearPig.
Student 3: For cereal.

Overheard: Marquand during the Inaugural ceremony

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Monday, January 19, 2009

Shouldn't have quit piano lessons in elementary school

Student 1: I'm not sure, I mean, it depends on whose piano I lie on.
Student 2: You can lie on my piano anytime you want.

MLK Jr Day Reading

British tabloids are the best. Apparently they've caught on to all the shady dealings at YDS, all orchestrated by Denys Turner and Opus Dei.

Seriously, I'm not making this one up.

Get thee to a ministerial misconduct class, quick

M.Div: Well, I had never had sex with a woman, so I was ready to have sex with something.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Pow! Bang! Shazaam!

(regarding the "Holy Happy Hour" email)
Student: I sort of wish this email subject line had ended with "comma, BATMAN!"

Time for a school-wide talk about our changing bodies

Student 1: You know, the student body isn't very funny this semester.
Student 2: Maybe we're all ashamed of our body.
Student 1: Just like puberty!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Come on... You love pastoral care

MDiv: Role play is the DEVIL!

Don't apologize to the evangelical. Apologize to Jesus.

Student: Christians can swear! (turns to evangelical) Sorry, [name].

So much feeling in those "hmmms" though

Kristen Leslie: "Hmmm" is the white Protestant version of amen.

Overheard: TLGBQ Pastoral Care

And pastors?

Teresa Berger: No one should work on Sundays except organists.

Overheard: Face of Death

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Just time to time?

Yale Div. Student: I'm not taking medieval theology or historical Jesus because of area four/five. I might take HJ out of spite, though.

Vanderbilt Div. Student: HJ? oh yes. HJ. I read that as "handjob" at first. Then remembered we're talking about religion. I clearly need to get laid.

Yale Div. Student: Don't you have a girlfriend?

Vanderbilt Div. Student: I have a girlfriend in real life. She gives me historical jesuses from time to time.

Overheard: Google chat

Monday, January 5, 2009