Monday, December 21, 2009
Overheard: Lessons and Carols at Christ Church, New Haven
Friday, December 18, 2009
by Josh Rodriguez and Chris Corbin
Twas the night before the Church History final and all through the library,
Desperate seminarians said novenas to Mary.
The books were all open and foreheads lined with care;
The final was in Niehbur and they soon would be there.
At the end of the night, when they collapsed into their beds,
Visions of Jesuits danced through their heads.
They knew that this testing their joy would sap;
They’d rather just settle their brains for a Christmas holiday nap.
When out on the Quad there arose such a clatter,
They leaped from their beds to see what was the matter.
When, what to their wondering minds should they feast,
But a council at Nicaea, and Perpetua fed to the beasts.
With a little old writer, did he fabricate thus?
They knew in a moment it was Eusebius.
And the Donation of Constantine! On the forgeries came.
Popes whistled and shouted and tried emperors to tame.
Cults of martyrs and saints rose before being suppressed,
But when it came to preventing Black Death they were put to the test.
Now mystics! Now demoniacs! Now Cathars and Waldensians!
Crusades against Jews, Muslims, heretics, and Albigensians!
To the limits of Christendom! To lands far and near!
Missionaries had to look busy for Jesus soon would be here.
As dry doctrines that before the wild reformers did fly
When they met with such obstinacy, at Trent did decry.
So up to the church door the theses they flew,
Against Johann Tetzel and the Popes too.
And then, with much screaming, the Institutes they do say,
Servetus is dead; hopefully with him his heresies stay.
As they drew in their doctrine, and were mulling around,
Down from France St. Xavier came with a bound.
He dressed like the natives, of habits no fan,
And his learning and letters they came from Japan.
From Goa to China came Jesuits back,
And in learning and letters nothing did lack.
Their pupils -- how they puzzled! They taught them so early!
A man different than seven, I think only rarely!
Oh early moderns and urban centers did grow,
And the behavior of people it reached a new low;
At the stump of a tree or forest glen empty,
And the midnight it came where they gathered a-plenty;
Their souls to the devil, to Satan did they sell,
My God don’t they care that they’ll end up in hell?
To desecrate wafers, a right unholy old task,
And I dread when I see them, in fear for my ass;
A whole town dose cry and a trial then gets heard,
Soon I did know that witches must drown or be burned;
Now speak not a word, but remember Ignatius?
He started new learning with the brothers of Jesus,
Galileo said yes, Ptolemy he said no,
Heliocentric, the sun at the middle arose;
He sprang to his scope, to his Pope he was stressful,
And house arrest he was placed with the church he did wrestle.
But I wonder at last, ere the end is in sight,
The story can’t end here; we’ve got America, right?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
MAR 1: "Oh good, it looks like they're going in order."
MDiv: "Numbers usually do that. (pause) I thought MARs were supposed to be smart."
MAR 2: "We are, but common sense is an MDiv trait."
Overheard: En route to Coalition Christmas Party
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Student: "What do we know about the historical Jesus, and how do we know it?"
Harry Attridge: "He was a great guy."
Overheard: Former Profits reception
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Overheard: Off campus, Thanksgiving day
Overheard: Theologies of Christian Community
Student: "I did."
Julie Kelsey: "Why did you bring Jesus?"
Overheard: Nouwen Chapel (preaching section)
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Student 2: "Two names? This dog is going to have an identity crisis."
Student 3: "No. It's like nobility."
Student 1: "Or the pope. He has two names."
Student 2: "I dunno. The pope looks pretty confused most of the time."
Overheard: Commuter Lounge
Friday, November 27, 2009
MDiv student: "Is that a colonizer joke?"
Overheard: Thanksgiving Dinner
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
Student 2: "No, no, no. It all depends who's in power. If you're in power you get to burn everyone who disagrees. Orthodoxy is the heresy that wins"
(looking at a slideshow of artist's representation of the resurrection of Jesus)
Overheard: Introduction to the New Testament
Friday, November 20, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Student2: "What you're really asking is, 'what's in this body of Christ, so I can decide whether I wish to partake?'"...
Student2: Take this hummus. It is my nervous system, given for thee.
Overheard in: Commuter Lounge, just before "Hearty Eucharist."
Monday, November 16, 2009
MDiv 1: "Well, to enter purgatory you have to be baptized at birth."
MDiv 2: "So what about the good souls who weren't baptized?"
MDiv 1: "If you weren't baptized you went to Dante's outermost level of hell. Which isn't bad, but it's not great. It's kinda like Jersey."
Overheard: Transitional Moments of Western Christian History Section
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
(Regarding Augustine's interpretation of the Trinity)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
(upon Googling her name)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
YDS Alumna/Minister: "Oh! I went to Yale Divinity School."
Minister: "Yale Divinity School! I was accepted there. If I hadn't gotten saved, I would have gone there!"
(Then, he just got into his car and drove away.)
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
(speaking on Rahner's view of God's hidden-ness inside of man)
Overheard: Systematic Theology
Friday, October 9, 2009
Student 1: Hey, wasn't that one of those guys?
Student 2: Who?
Student 1: You know, emeriti or whatever?
Student 2: You mean, like, the old dead white guys whose pictures are up in the
Student 3: Or not quite dead yet, in this case.
Overheard: outside the commuter lounge
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Overheard: Commuter Lounge
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
MAR: "What else would you sell yourself for? Lima beans?"
MDiv #2: "I would never sell myself for lima beans. I might sell myself for tofu, though."
Overheard: on Prospect Street
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Student 2: I prefer to think of it as a helpful guide to what to take, and when. For example, it says that tonight I should be taking meth, so I can concentrate on the 100 pages I need to read and not sleep.
Overheard in Commuter Lounge
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Me: [amazing student]!
Student 2: Yay!
Student 3: Yeah!
Student 4: Booo?
overheard: graduation bbq
As an official graduate of YDS, it's time for me to leave the ranks of you commoners and start living the high life as an alum. Rest assured, you are in wonderful hands. I trust my replacement to find the funniest, wittiest, most theologically ridiculous quotes possible, but she can't do it without you. You can submit quotes through the comments as usual or email them to our new email address at email@example.com.
I will be with you always, to the end of the age.*
*Just in another state. Come visit?? Also, assuming the apocalypse comes, I'm going to be in need of an expert. Second Temple students, I'm looking at you.
Professor: Good. Soooo, kind of a sketchy prophet there.
Student 2: Bet he didn't have safe sex training . . . I mean safe church. Oh, whatever the euphemism is.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
TUESDAY: Movie Night/Make Your Graduation Attire
Stop by the Common Room at 3 PM to make your individualized graduation gear to wear at Commencement downtown. In years past it's been halos on the cap, this year we're planning on making wings. We provide the supplies, you bring your hands and imagination.
Then let's watch a movie at sunset (8 PM). We'll be watching Slumdog Millionaire (Slumdunder Mifflinaire?), with informative remarks before starting by film student Sean McAvoy. Bring beverages, bring families and friends. Pizza provided. LOCATION CHANGE: We'll be in RSV, so meet us there at 8!
WEDNESDAY: Beach Day/Karaoke at GPSCY
Spend the day on a beautiful beach with your fellow students, families and friends! We leave from the YDS parking lot at 11 AM for the Hammonasset Beach State Park. Pack a lunch, your frisbee and your swimsuit for an afternoon in the sun.
Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you're planning on attending or if you can drive.
After soaking up the sun, head out to GPSCY for a night of Karaoke. We'll have the back room reserved for singing shenanigans, and if we're lucky, someone's going to do Journey. Bring your ID and Yale ID for admission.
Tonight we head out to the local lanes! Put on your polyester and impress everyone with your 7th grade bowling skills. If you need a ride, meet us at YDS at 7 PM to ride together, otherwise meet us there. Bowling alley TBD, open to suggestions.
FRIDAY: Graduation Rehersal and Make Your Own Attire/BBQ
Practice makes perfect, so join us on the Quad at 10:30 AM to hear all about the various ceremonies and practice your "shake with the right hand, reach with the left." There will be food afterwards, so why not? Also afterwards, we'll have materials set up so you can make your wings for graduation if you haven't done so already.
Then join us at 5:30 for a cookout on the Knoll (grassy area between the div school and apartments). We'll have the usual - burgers, vegiburgers, hot dogs, soda, beer and fun. If your family's in town already, bring them and introduce them to Dale (he'll never forget them, so it's a good test for the future).
Saturday, May 16, 2009
The only maid I want to be is Maid Marion, but that's because of my Robin Hood steal-from-the-rich-give-to-the-poor complex
Overheard: Commuter Lounge
Monday, May 11, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Bruce Gordon: "I had high expectations when I came to Yale, and I'm glad to know my expectations were met."
overheard: commuter lounge
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
MAR Student 2: But you're really straight, though. You're so straight, it's borderline destructive.
MAR Student 1: I'm destructively heterosexual?
MAR Student 2: Yup.
Where: Curtis Hall
Student 2: Do you know what else is crazy? The low, low prices at Barbarino's Chevy!
Student 3: Bar-bar-bar-bar-bar-barino! .... oh my god, this week needs to be over.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Friday, May 1, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Student 1: Not in vitro fertilization. I can't do that. I'm Catholic. It's a sin.
Student 2: You're single. How are any of the other things we've discussed not a sin?
Student 3: You can try to be sinless; it worked for Mary.
Overheard in: commuter lounge
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Congratulations to both Javen and Oby and Diana and Sarah!
Student 1: I don’t think anyone would actually admit it here.
Willis Jenkins: Yea, they’d be in some serious need of moral therapy…That was actually a test question, I’m gonna have random people come in here and ask questions.
Overheard: Environmental Ethics
Carolyn Sharp: I don't mean to mess with your understanding of the New Testament. That's not my job. That will happen for you next year.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Student 1 (whispers): Was that .com or .org?
Student 2 (whispers): I think .com
(student 1 goes to website)
Student 1: Oooh. (turns bright red)
Kristen Leslie: Yes?
Student 1: Make sure you go to howsexworks.org instead of .com.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Student 2: Haha, that'd be great!
Student 1: "Jesus is up on the cross"
Student 2: "He's not looking very good."
Student 3: "Can we get rid of all these crying women?"
Student 1: "One of the thieves is yelling something... The other one looks pretty nice."
Student 2: "I don't think that middle one is going to make it..."
overheard: coffee hour
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Overheard in Theologies of Militarization
Trini- Trini- Trini- Trini-
You're three in One
You're three in O-o-one.
Consubstantial with the Father
But you're three hypostases,
Just like the creeds,
The Nicene cree-ee-eeds.
Student in back: See? Now if we'd been allowed to use laptops, that would have been posted to "Overheard at YDS."
Overheard in: Anglican Colloquium
ahead of the recording): Hey! Don't Patrick Evans this song!
Student 2: Patrick Evans is a verb?
Student 3: Quick! Someone find a gourd!
Overheard at: party
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Student 2. I have been going to school here for three years and I don't understand what you just said.
Señor Downs: Well, Anselmic is a kind of vinegar.
Overheard at Señor Clark Down's hacienda
Friday, April 3, 2009
Beeley: Kenotic christology is Very. Seductive.
Student: It's like you're a hair shirt for her.
Beeley: I've heard that one before.
Beeley: He [William Temple] died in 1944 and I have a special revelation from him; so you see, the Gnostics were underrated.
Overheard: Anglican History and Theology
Overheard at the YDS Student Book Supply:
Student D: Hey, this sale is totally terrible. Micah is the worst manager ever.
Student L: That’s true, but at least he’s a good looking human person.
Student Gamma: Hey, you know what’s going to be great about the sale?
Student 4932: What?
Student Harry Attridge: Micah will have popcorn in the bookstore today like every Friday from 12.00pm-3.30pm! And also, the sale is totally amazing.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sister: Kind of like the second coming.
Student: Nope. Not at all.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Frank Griswold: My name is Frank.
Small Child: Frank? That's my dad's favorite kind of hot dog!
Overheard @: BDS community eucharist
Get that kid an octodog!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Straight female student to gay student (quietly): We have one thing in common... We've both never had sex for procreation.
overheard: glbtq pastoral care
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
“I just can't figure out what is going on in this passage! Why are there elephants? People!? A city!?! A wall!?!? Water!?!?!”
(5 minutes later)
“What the f*** does that word mean! I just looked it up, damn it! Oh, f****, I'll look it up again.”
(3 seconds later)
“Where the hell is mem! The letter mem!”
(5 minutes later)
“They're under attack by innumerable elephants, but I don't know who is doing it or why.”
(2 minutes later)
“This is crazy! I feel like I'm in the middle of this war!”
(5 minutes later)
“Now randomly there is a divine temple! Where the hell did the temple come from!”
(26 minutes later)
“I really wish they would stop praying...”
(7 minutes later)
“I'm trying to figure out if the bishop is filling or killing the horseman with cows. Cows...or...something else.”
“Ah, yes! It's filling! Filling them with cows. But, I just don't see how that could be...”
(Pauses, strokes chin, looks puzzled)
“Oh! Oh! Encouragement! He's filling them with encouragement! I was conflating 'the rest of the people' with 'cows.'”
“There's a fine line between cows and encouragement...”
“I don't know why its doing that! I wish it would stop! Oooh....”
(Groans, rocks in fetal position)
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Overheard: Commuter Lounge
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
-Overheard in the Refectory
-Overheard in the Refectory
PS It was my birthday on Friday.
PpS I like religious kitsch, as evidenced by my Sacred Heart of Jesus wrist watch.
PPPS Did I mention it was my birthday?
Friday, February 6, 2009
I bet someone could get a dissertation out of that.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Overheard: Liturgical Theology
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
"Sober" M.Div: I bet you twenty bucks they're going back there to fuck.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my GOD, when did you become so cynical??
"Sober" M.Div: That's not being cynical! That's a beautiful thing. They're going to make a baby.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my God, when did you become Roman Catholic?
Monday, February 2, 2009
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Fr. Tony Jarvis: This is the reign of terror, by the way. Call me Robespierre.
Overheard in Educational Leadership & Ministry
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Student 2: I hadn't really thought about best man stuff since I didn't think I'd have a white person wedding.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Overheard: Environmental Ethics
Monday, January 19, 2009
Student 2: You can lie on my piano anytime you want.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Student 2: Maybe we're all ashamed of our body.
Student 1: Just like puberty!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Yale Div. Student: I'm not taking medieval theology or historical Jesus because of area four/five. I might take HJ out of spite, though.
Vanderbilt Div. Student: HJ? oh yes. HJ. I read that as "handjob" at first. Then remembered we're talking about religion. I clearly need to get laid.
Yale Div. Student: Don't you have a girlfriend?
Vanderbilt Div. Student: I have a girlfriend in real life. She gives me historical jesuses from time to time.
Overheard: Google chat