Oh, religion. Oh, people.

Linky - watch the video. This guy can't be real.

Or Aramaic for Tequila?

M.Div Student (in a bad Scottish Accent): "In the Bible they said Jesus turned water into Wine, which is just Hebrew for Scotch."

Overheard: Berkeley Dinner

Fierce inclusive language

Students singing to Joan Osbourne's One of Us: If God had a name, what would it be and would you call it to his face...
Student: HER FACE!

Overheard: Karaoke at GPSCY

Glad someone listened in OT

Student 1: I'm drunk. Kiss me. I'm Hosea.
Student 2: I'm your roommate. I'm Hosea. You're my slutty wife.

Overheard at: Spring Fling

What people are you talking about?

Student: For a person, 'nonexistent' and 'don't drink' are the same thing.

Overheard: Lunchtime on the quad

Next time...

Student: (sigh) You can bring a div schooler to beer, but you can't make them dance.

Overheard: Community Dinner

Maybe it's the beard

Straight student: If I go to a gay bar, I get hit on two or three times. If I go to a straight bar, I get hit on like NEVER.

Overheard: Common Room

Pre-graduation drinking on the Quad

Student: I've seen Britney Spear's vagina before.

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Student: Speaking of labia, [student] makes jewelry.

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Student: I'm just full of saliva tonight.

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Student: I love the sin, but I hate the sinner.



Overheard at: pre-graduation night on the Quad

Keg is in the corner, my friend.

(walks into common room)
Graduating student: It's time for me to get drunk!

Overheard at: post-community dinner impromptu dance party

Jesus invented cheap beer just for div schoolers

Student: You know, I didn't drink cheap beer until I came to div school.

Now I want a derby party.

Student 1: Speaking of Kentucky, you know what's this weekend?
Student 2: The derby! We should have a derby party. It's such an unfortunate time of year for the derby.
Student 1: The only thing [other student] remembers about the derby party a few years ago was drinking a lot of mint juleps and standing on a table in Niebuhr hall singing with [another student].

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Can't say that I have

Student: You ever drink Dimetapp... Just for fun?

Overheard at: Anna Liffey's

Shake them even if you don't

Student: If you've got tits, shake 'em!

Overheard at: Eat, Drink and Be Married dance party (emphasis on the drink part...)

But I heard beer was better than theology...

Student 1: Lend me your ID so I can check out this book.

Student 2: No, man.

Student 1: That's not very pastoral of you.

Student 2: I'm not a pastor. I'm a theologian. We're cold and callous. Drinking is second.


Overheard at: the library

The high seas call

Student 1: You should come with us next time we go to this sailor bar.

Student 2: Sailors? I love sailors. And bars? They're ok too.

Damn Hollywood!

Student: I watched The Notebook this weekend while drunk and I realized where all my unrealistic expectations of love came from.

There's some agape

Student 1 (inebriated): She posted on his facebook wall! She's a whore!
Student 2: Well, fuck her.
Student 1: No! I'll fuck him! Within the bounds of holy matrimony!

Sure it is...

Student: I can bring some applesauce and beer. Applesauce is always a good birthday treat.

Red or white?

Sally Promey: I just want to make sure people would be able to come.
Student 1: If you want Div students to show up to anything, get a box of wine.
Student 2: It's true.

I need to attend more Methodist dinner parties

Student: He started the story with "I was getting drunk with a Methodist at a dinner party..."
Denys Turner: Oh, Methodists do get drunk at dinner parties.

Overheard at: YDS Hallway