The Gospel of Denys Turner

Denys Turner: Oh dear, where is that in Acts? I can't quite remember...but I'm a Catholic; I don't actually read the Bible.

(On Liturgy in the Pseudo Denys)
Denys Turner: ...Smells, Bells and the Lot...

Denys Turner: In the YEAR OF OUR LORD 500--and stuff the political correctness.

(On a 1960s Scouse translation of the Bible)
Denys Turner: At one point you have Jesus nattering to Nicodemus....

Overheard In: Medieval Theology

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Denys Turner: Oh stop looking so amazed; the next time I chatter on for an hour, kick me in the shins and tell me to shut up.

Denys Turner: Is there a Book of Mary? I always felt that reading the Gnostics was bad for one's soul.

Denys Turner: Well PCs are basically Protestants and Catholics aren't they? Now we have ones which we rely on icons to operate--so Protestants are basically using Catholic computers since theirs aren't good enough--because, before, we had 'Protestant' ones where you had to type the commands; you really did have to rely only on 'the Word....'

Overheard In: Medieval Preaching

I bet the Niebhurs have less sequined outfits

Andre Willis: Can you imagine being a Niebhur? It's like being part of the Jacksons.

Overheard in: Christianity and Culture

Talk about a gut reaction

Mark Villano: I want to make sure we cover some theology tonight, so we're going to talk about Rahner.
Student in the back: No!
(class laughter)
Another student: Don't say Barth, don't say Barth...

Overheard in: Theology and Cinema

I don't want to know what she's talking about

Second career student: I was disturbed by the fact I would even eat something like that.

Overheard at: Outside the Refectory

Maybe the apocalypse won't be so bad after all.

Bob Wilson: All right, friends, we need to get this apocalypse underway.

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Bob Wilson: I got so excited about flying saucer cults last week that I forgot to mention...

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Bob Wilson: Not everybody who goes and drinks a bottle of vodka are considered shamans by the Tunga. Some are just thought to have an alcohol problem.


Overheard at: Apocalypticism

My experience as a lotta awesome

(on individual interpretations)
Student: You're not trying to change Rambo... You're explaining your experience of Rambo.

Overheard at: Christianity and Culture

Friday mornings they just give out bread and wine

Student: I've found ways to eat free every night. Wednesdays I'm Anglican, Mondays I'm Catholic.

Good to have your history straight

(In reference to a description of the 14th century discovery of a perfectly preserved ancient Italian girl)
Carlos Eire: Necrophilia? Perhaps, but that's what the Renaissance is all about.

Overheard at: Reformation Europe

The meaning of a Tootsie Roll

Susan Olson: I heard someone out here exegeting the candy bowl and I knew it had to be Carolyn Sharp.

Overheard at: Dale Peterson's candy bowl

I need to attend more Methodist dinner parties

Student: He started the story with "I was getting drunk with a Methodist at a dinner party..."
Denys Turner: Oh, Methodists do get drunk at dinner parties.

Overheard at: YDS Hallway

At the end are you bitter and sassy?

Student: It's early in the semester so I'm still carefree and sassy.

That's one way to go about it

Student: You can't let them see your weakness! And if they do, then you should stab their eyes out so they can't see it again!

Not as good as rescuing his family from a sinking battleship, but still pretty good

Jake Erickson: "Ran With Scissors" ... I want that on my tombstone!

The interwebs is an amazing place

(Across the room, showing two ladies how to use the library website)
Librarian: Aaaaand, there you are in Orbis.
Lady 1: There we are! Whoo!
Lady 2: You have no idea how awesome that is!

Student (muttering): Too much excitement, too much excitement.

Overheard at: Circ desk

Maybe they're big fans of Grand Theft Auto too.

Middle-aged librarian 1: I need to get a Wii.
Middle-aged librarian 2: I LOOOOOOOOVE bowling!

Overheard at: Library

SOMEONE made an impression on her first day...

Shannon Craigo-Snell: Oh shit! (looks around the classroom sheepishly) ... I can [say] that down the hill.


(On 95 Thesis)
Craigo-Snell: All these things have been said before but Luther had friends with armies.


(On Letty Russell)
Craigo-Snell: May she kick ass in glory!!


Overheard at: Systematics II

Welcome back!

Grad student 1: Wait, it is Monday isn't?
Grad student 2: Yes.
Grad student 1: Oh, ok... Where am I again?

Oh! So I have the bad joke genes!

Dad: I've been planning this joke for my Friday morning bible study.
Div Student: What is it?
Dad: Well, when the leader says we're going to talk about epiphany this week and explains what it is, I'm going to say, "Oh! So that's what epiphany means!"
Div Student: You're going to pretend to have an epiphany about what epiphany means?
Dad: Yeah!
Div Student: (pause) You're lame.

Back in the 'Have

We're back!

Well, I'm back, and since one of my primary goals in life is to entertain myself, you all should help out and send all that eavesdropping you've been doing for me. Since, you know, I was totally productive and didn't spend the entire break watching Scrubs or anything...

Happy Epiphany!