And then kick him, but only a little bit

C. Sharp: How do we understand "do not be too righteous" and "do not be too wicked" in Ecclesiastes 7:16-17?
Student: I don't quite understand. I mean, can I ever be just a little wicked?
C. Sharp: Like take the orphan's bread, but don't push him down?..

Overheard in: Godly Skepticism: Ecclesiastes

...Read the stuff you assign us

TA for History of Western Christianity: Have any of you read troubadour poetry? No? Oh, what do you do with your lives?!

Overheard: Section

Not Luther!

Lutheran: Who knew Lutherans could be interesting?

The interest alone is enough to snag you a date

Student 1: My grandma told me not to go for more schooling because I'll have more debt and then no one will want to marry me.
Student 2: Are you kidding, that's a turn on in grad school!
Student 1: I use it as a pick-up line at bars.
Student 2: "Hey baby, I've got xx dollars of debt."
Student 1: "Wanna come back to my place and see my loan statements?"

Sorry, YDS.... we didn't want them anyway!

Student (on seeing Overheard at YDS for the first time): I wonder how many people have decided not to come to this school because of this website.

Hard to reach places

Student 1: My problem's not with the manscaping, it's the bunnytail.
Student 2: The what?
Student 1: You know, the tuft of hair behind the balls.

- Common Room

Maybe he's a bottom

C. Sharp: Oh you know, we're just overthrowing the dominant suppressive culture narratives...
Student: I'm gay. I'm in no way dominant.

But we love you all the same!

Student: You know, being conservative at YDS must be a lot like being gay elsewhere ... like, some conservatives are in the closet, others are 'out'...

Overheard: in the hall

Jodela?

Alum: Adela and John Collins are the Brangelina of biblical studies.

ILLEGAL.

Student: 'Cause that's what I'm into... 13 year old girls who smoke pot.

I bet Baden gives a great Hebrew stump speech

Student: I just went to CNN.com and read that Joel Baden is campaigning in Raleigh, North Carolina... but Joe Biden makes more sense there.

It is quite lyrical

(reading)
Jake Erickson: That was definitely written by a straight white male. He appreciated the potency of the sentences and not the queer life of poetry.

Actually, it's broken. Thanks jerk.

Student to other student: Are you frowning or is your face broken?

My lunch date with Blair is tomorrow

Staff 1: (muffled question)
Staff 2: Oh, he's having lunch with Tony Blair.

Overheard: Outside refectory

It's like the Canada Wikipedia page but maybe a bit more relevant

Student 1: Are you reading the whole Alaska Wikipedia page?
Student 2: Yeah!
Student 3: Why are you doing that?
Student 2: Because it's important now!

I bet it's Vespers

Student: I have a liturgy for my homework!

Lutherans are the Midwest's number one crop

Bob Wilson: He comes from a small town in Michigan -- or somewhere out there in Lutheran-land.

Overheard in: History and Methods of Hebrew Bible Interpretation

Super Jew, maybe

Student: I didn't fully realize this before, but Jesus was really Jewish!

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Reverse that... oh wait that was a joke!

Dale Peterson: Oh, it's Joel Yoo and Phil Baden!!

overheard: coffee hour

You conjugate that verb

Student: Smite, smoot, smited, smaught.

Overheard: Hallway

You are very welcome here... Cough drop?

Div school student: Oh, you're sick, you have every right to wallow!
Sick Div school student: Yeah, I'm ok with self-wallowing--but only in private.
Div school student: You should let the community into that.

Overheard: HGS

And not again for another 2000 years or so

Student: You know, there seldom comes a time when you need a Second Temple student, but I need one now.

I hope no one pees on actual necks

Student 1: Why do Episcopalians feel the constant need to wear their collars?
Student 2: It's their way of peeing to mark their territory...

Overheard: Leaving Marquand after Krista Tippett's lecture

We love you some you too!

Recent alumni: I love me some me!

My sister-wife agrees

Student: You know you're cramming for Old Testament when you're talking about sister-wives.

Overheard: Old Testament study group, the Common room

Just don't use it to prop up your coffee table

Guest Speaker: I'm not a fundamentalist, but I take the bible seriously.

Overheard in: Evangelism

It could be a whole dissertation topic

Randall Balmer: If you take the words "cute purple dinosaur"... change the u's to v's, assign numbers to all the letters, you get 666. So Barney is the Antichrist.

Overheard: Evangelicalism

No burritos?

(On Origin's exegesis)
Christopher Beeley: God conceals higher meanings from those who won't understand... You don't give refried beans to that baby!

Overheard: Patristics

He probably wrote a book about it too

(On John Collins' body language)

Student 1:  Collins sometimes gives a raised eyebrow, but it's not a good thing.

Student 2:  No, it's not good at all.

Student 1:  I mean, it could be that he didn't think of that before...

Student 2:  But he's probably thought of that before.

We need more gourdists

Student: I wonder if Patrick's a classically trained gourdist.

Overheard: On the way to chapel

Every 7 days or so

Bruce Gordon: If you don't believe history is cyclical, you should because it's Monday again.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity

At least it's not Urban Outfitter's website

Student: When I type "urban" into my url bar, the first two websites I've been to that come up are urbandictionary.com and about Urban II.

Me too! Sadly...

Student: The first time I experienced grinding was at a church meeting...

I'm waiting for the hit comedy movie

One Episcopalian to another: Dude, I have your incense.

Overheard: On the quad

Why does that person have your pants? Um... never mind.

(leaving voice mail message)
Student: Hey, it's me. GIVE ME MY PANTS BACK. (hangs up)

The patriarchy hurts my feelings

Bruce Gordon: ... Anselm's Cur Deus Homo, or Why God Became Man?. Sorry, Anselm wasn't into inclusive language.

Overheard: History of Western Christianity