Or Mr. Collins, he's even related

Student 1: Did you know there's a Mormon Pride and Prejudice?
Student 2: What, Mr. Darcy marries all the sisters?

Overheard at: Beer = better than theology party

Carolyn's a robot?!?

Carolyn Sharp: "This is me mocking this point of view." (in a robot voice--) "The law of the Old Testament is simply outdated and uninformative."

Overheard at: Old Testament Interpretation

Student 1: So where are you going now?
Student 2: Happy hour.
Student 1: Oh, you're a Holy Homo.

At least you won't have to pay back student loans

Student 1: I only have about 10 more years ahead of me.
Student 2: You only plan on living 10 more years?
Student 1: Well, if I get assassinated, six.

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

I'd hate to see what lies will do

Gloria Steinem: The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.

Overheard at: Chubb lecture

I can fit 15 clowns in a VW Bug

First year: I can learn four languages in three years... When I say it out loud it sounds ridiculous.

It seems so simple...

Student 1: I'm surrounded by the shade!
Student 2: You're sitting under a tree.

Overheard at: Div school Quad

You can only get those YDS postcards here too

(after showing video of the interior of Santa Maria Maggiore)
Jaime Lara: You only get this at Yale Divinity School. You don't get this at Princeton.

Overheard at: Iconography

Carolyn Sharp: We've got to get out there and complexify the situation. So this weekend, make sure you talk to someone and complexify things.

Overheard at: Ruth and Esther class

WWUD?

NT Teaching Fellow: If Q doesn't exist, for some scholars it's like they've spent their whole careers writing about unicorns.

Overheard at: NT section

$19.95 at www.whitehouse.gov

(describing the Arch of Titus)
Jaime Lara: It was like George Bush Gone Wild, like a statue of George Bush on the White House lawn.

Overheard at: Iconography

With a musket we do.

Denys Turner: I didn't know there was any urban Virginia. Do you shoot from the hip there?

Google this!

Student: Hey, have you googled yourself lately? I'm awesome!

I suppose it's better than being a real whore

Student: God!! I'm such an ecclesiastical whore!

The wisdom of Emilie Townes

Emilie Townes: Some of you are fabulous. You know that. But you must be fabulous in time.
---------------------------------
Student: Can we at some point talk about forgetting or selective memory?
Emilie Townes: Have you been hanging out with Miroslav?
---------------------------------
Emilie Townes: I'm only going to scratch the surface today. I'm not going to change your life. Maybe next time.

Overheard at: Political Economy of Misery class

White Moses is almost as cool as White Jesus

Student: Moses was the first American. He released eagles from the ark.

Overheard at: the Quad during the Community BBQ.

Be wary of gifts from Hultin

Jeremy Hultin: What do you do when you're in love with someone and she doesn't like you? Put a spell on her.

Overheard at: NT Interpretation

In that case, Uncle Marty would have been a REALLY good minister

Student 1: The psychiatrist asked me if I was hearing any voices, and was like, well, no, except for the voice of God. So, I guess that makes me schizophrenic.
Student 2: ...Or, a REALLY good minister! You decide!

Overheard at: Trumbull St and Hillhouse Ave

Jesus is pretty delicious

Student: I don't eat breakfast on Fridays because I know I have to consume everything that's left after Eucharist... I'm also a little drunk because I just killed two chalices on an empty stomach. It was okay though, the third one was grape juice.

Overheard at: Marquand

Or read the Marquand schedule.

Girl: Whoa, look at you! Why are you all dressed up?

Guy: Because I preached today in Marquand.

Girl: You know, I would have known that if I was a better Christian...

There wasn't enough room on the sarcophagus for fava beans

(on a Roman sarcophagus)
Jaime Lara: It [the afterlife] is a land flowing with milk and honey and a little chianti. They were Italian Jews, you know.

Overheard at: Iconography class

I bet Byron swooped his bangs

Girl: When I think of emo, I think of Byron and Bronte.

What else are you worried about forgetting?

Girl: I'm not much of a church-goer.
Guy: But you do have God's name tattooed on your arm, which is cool.
Girl: It's so I remember, in case I get drunk.

Is that like speaking in tounges?

Student: I should study but I'm going to procrastinate since that is one of my spiritual gifts--and as Paul says, I should let my spiritual gifts flow.

Can JC help me move my furniture?

Student 1 sees Student 2 pushing a car out of a parking space to jump its battery:

Student 1: Do you need any help pushing that car?
Student 2: Nah, I'm good. As you can see, I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me.

Overheard at: Canner Street Apartments Parking Lot

Dan Brown's next book

Student: DOC is only cool if you work for Opus Dei.

(concerning Elementary Hebrew)
Student: You know, I wasn't anti-Semitic until I took that class.

Obviously a grad student

Student: The only thing in my fridge besides bad milk, apple cider and maple syrup is feta cheese.

Overheard at: Fisher

Why do you tease like that?

dude 1: Do you want to get together later, and sit around reading the blurbs off the back of our books together and get excited?
dude 2: Sure, yeah.
dude 1: Let's not actually do that.

Overheard at: YDS bookstore line

John Wesley was on to something

Person 1: We put the meth in Methodist.

Overheard at: YDS bookstore