Please don't let me die before the election

Student 1: So what do you want to watch? Six Feet Under?
Student 2: I think I can handle death better than the current political season.

Either Denys Turner lied or something's not working

Student 1: Ever since Denys Turner told me to pray for what I want, I've been praying for a boyfriend.
Staff member: How's that been working out for you?
Student 1: Not good!

Overheard: Common Room

Damn the atmosphere!

Student: What if Jesus came back already but he burned up in re-entry?

Bless my gas tank too

(in office)
Staff: Will you bless my car for me?
Priest: Yeah, sure.

Overheard: South Hallway

Good to bring that in now and then

Willis Jenkins: I've never before done this in an ethics class but - this is the Bible.

Overhead: Bonhoeffer and King

I wonder if Psalm 23 has as good of a music video as Don't Worry, Be Happy

Student: Who knew Bobby McFarin was so talented? "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and Psalm 23? Amazing.

Overheard: Sung Morning Prayer in Chapel

Oh lordy

Older man 1: I definitely wouldn't go with the oil.
Older man 2: Personally, I prefer the latex.

Overheard: Outside Marquand

(For the record, they're talking about paint)

Oh my!

(typing into google search)
Student: Dancing... with... myself... lyrics.

Thief!

Student: Sometimes... when no one is here... I just dump the whole candy bowl into my backpack.

Overheard: Outside Dale Peterson's office

Way to be aware of what you're saying

Holy Grounds employee holding the biggest coffee mug: I kinda want to give this to a baby so it's an oversized prop.
Male Student: I'm a baby with an oversized - OOH!

Overheard: Holy Grounds

Old school, before the interwebs

(discussing Israelite cultic "prostitutes")
Bob Wilson: If you're interested in this, there's literature for you to read. . . And it comes in a plain brown wrapper.

Overheard in: Kings

Sorry to say, a lot of you don't need one

Student: I've always wanted to start a white middle-class scholarship. We're the only group without one.

Overheard: Common Room

No comment

Denys Turner: Hello, little one!
Child: The sun needs batteries!
Denys Turner: Yes, yes it does.

Evangelical boys are pretty shady

(roommate comes home at 12:15)
Student: Where were you? Why were you out so late? Who were you talking to? It had better have been [student] and not any of those evangelical boys!

I hope I'm one of the 10%!

3rd year student: I don't know 90% of the people I talk to at Coffee Hour.

The Hebrew Bible would be so different if everyone was heavily medicated

John Collins: What do you do when you hear God telling you to sacrifice your only son?
Student: Up your meds!

Overheard at: OT Interpretation

No comment

Student 1: My donkey's name was Michael Jackson.
(pause)
Student 2 (quietly): That's what she said?
Student 1: That doesn't make sense!
Student 2: That's why I said it as a question.
Student 1: That's what she (raises voice) said?

Because babies aren't humans

Student 1: Have you heard [alumni] is going to have a baby?
Student 2: Yeah, I did!
Student 1: I can't believe she's going to have a real, live, human - not just a baby, but a human.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The nuns didn't swear?

Student: I don't know any curse words in Spanish... then again, I learned Spanish from nuns.

You're not Jerry Seinfeld, sorry

Student 1: ... And what's the deal with Lutherans? They're all like 'ooooo, Luther'.
Student 2: [Student 1], you're just anti-Lutheranitic.