Not even on Halloween?

Patrick Evans: We've never had a bad nun in Marquand.

Overheard: in the hall

Patrick can be my verb anytime

Student 1 (to fellow student who was "helpfully" singing lyrics half a measure
ahead of the recording): Hey! Don't Patrick Evans this song!
Student 2: Patrick Evans is a verb?
Student 3: Quick! Someone find a gourd!

Overheard at: party

We need more gourdists

Student: I wonder if Patrick's a classically trained gourdist.

Overheard: On the way to chapel