As if there were an innocent MAR...

"Well-known celebrity" 3rd Year M.Div overheard by innocent 1st Year MAR:

"I only fuck within denomination."

Oh, religion. Oh, people.

Linky - watch the video. This guy can't be real.

Inappropriate... but funny.

Student 1: I always think of you when I'm in church.
Student 2: I thought you were going to say I always think of church when I'm in you... which would have been highly inappropriate.

Both?

Student: Wait... rock me, sexy Jesus or sex exegesis?

No lovin' without babies

(watching a very affectionate couple exit the restaurant through a back door)

"Sober" M.Div: I bet you twenty bucks they're going back there to fuck.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my GOD, when did you become so cynical??
"Sober" M.Div: That's not being cynical! That's a beautiful thing. They're going to make a baby.
Drunk M.Div: Oh my God, when did you become Roman Catholic?

Get thee to a ministerial misconduct class, quick

M.Div: Well, I had never had sex with a woman, so I was ready to have sex with something.

Just time to time?

Yale Div. Student: I'm not taking medieval theology or historical Jesus because of area four/five. I might take HJ out of spite, though.

Vanderbilt Div. Student: HJ? oh yes. HJ. I read that as "handjob" at first. Then remembered we're talking about religion. I clearly need to get laid.

Yale Div. Student: Don't you have a girlfriend?

Vanderbilt Div. Student: I have a girlfriend in real life. She gives me historical jesuses from time to time.

Overheard: Google chat

Or Romeo and Juliet

Student: Numbers is where the dude stabs the dude for banging the Moabite chick, right?

Rejection!

Student to other student: Well, it could be true and I still wouldn't sleep with you.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

Or Gene Simmons of the Bible

John Collins: King Solomon bedded 1100 women... he's like the Magic Johnson of the Bible.

Overheard: Chapel

TMI, personally

Student 1: What are you exegeting in Leviticus?
Second Career Student: Sex!
Student 2: Why are you doing that?
Second Career Student: Well, it's probably the closest I'm going to get!

Overheard: Section

Maybe he's a bottom

C. Sharp: Oh you know, we're just overthrowing the dominant suppressive culture narratives...
Student: I'm gay. I'm in no way dominant.

Theological pickup lines are my favorite

Student 1: So, when Abraham makes this covenant, he actually tells the guy to grab his testicles.

Student2: That would make a great theological pick-up line: “Hey baby, let’s make a covenant.”

Overheard at: OT

I'm cute too...

Yale College Student: And I told Joel he should sleep with her, 'cause she's cute, like, right?

Overheard at: Old Campus

Better be one hell of a honeymoon

Female student: Finals make me feel like a bride of Christ... I'm not getting laid until the end times.

I'm not sure I know what that means... or want to.

Gay Male Student - I'm not Anti-Semitic. I just don't date Jewish men.
Female Student - No, no you're Calvinist all the way. Even in the ass!

Overheard in: Commuter lounge

That'd be a good place to start

Student: She was an evangelical, and weirdly apologetic for it... although with good reason... And then she wanted me to help introduce queer theory into her evangelical church, but I thought it'd help if most of the people in her church didn't think that people who had gay sex were going to burn in hell.

Just reading...

Girl (on phone): So what were you doing last night while I lost my virginity?

Overheard at: HGS

How many ways can I say not classroom appropriate?

Student: When I hear Between the Sheets, I'm not thinking about God.
Andre Willis: (pause) Well, what are you thinking about then?

Overheard in: Christianity and Culture

There's plenty of ministerial opportunities for inanimate congregations, right?

Person: Some people are just more suited for ministry to inanimate objects.


Overheard at: Preventing Ministerial Sexual Misconduct