Monday, September 29, 2008

Please don't let me die before the election

Student 1: So what do you want to watch? Six Feet Under?
Student 2: I think I can handle death better than the current political season.

Either Denys Turner lied or something's not working

Student 1: Ever since Denys Turner told me to pray for what I want, I've been praying for a boyfriend.
Staff member: How's that been working out for you?
Student 1: Not good!

Overheard: Common Room

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Damn the atmosphere!

Student: What if Jesus came back already but he burned up in re-entry?

Bless my gas tank too

(in office)
Staff: Will you bless my car for me?
Priest: Yeah, sure.

Overheard: South Hallway

Good to bring that in now and then

Willis Jenkins: I've never before done this in an ethics class but - this is the Bible.

Overhead: Bonhoeffer and King

I wonder if Psalm 23 has as good of a music video as Don't Worry, Be Happy

Student: Who knew Bobby McFarin was so talented? "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and Psalm 23? Amazing.

Overheard: Sung Morning Prayer in Chapel

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Oh lordy

Older man 1: I definitely wouldn't go with the oil.
Older man 2: Personally, I prefer the latex.

Overheard: Outside Marquand

(For the record, they're talking about paint)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Oh my!

(typing into google search)
Student: Dancing... with... myself... lyrics.

Monday, September 22, 2008


Student: Sometimes... when no one is here... I just dump the whole candy bowl into my backpack.

Overheard: Outside Dale Peterson's office

Way to be aware of what you're saying

Holy Grounds employee holding the biggest coffee mug: I kinda want to give this to a baby so it's an oversized prop.
Male Student: I'm a baby with an oversized - OOH!

Overheard: Holy Grounds

Old school, before the interwebs

(discussing Israelite cultic "prostitutes")
Bob Wilson: If you're interested in this, there's literature for you to read. . . And it comes in a plain brown wrapper.

Overheard in: Kings

Sorry to say, a lot of you don't need one

Student: I've always wanted to start a white middle-class scholarship. We're the only group without one.

Overheard: Common Room

No comment

Denys Turner: Hello, little one!
Child: The sun needs batteries!
Denys Turner: Yes, yes it does.

Evangelical boys are pretty shady

(roommate comes home at 12:15)
Student: Where were you? Why were you out so late? Who were you talking to? It had better have been [student] and not any of those evangelical boys!

Friday, September 19, 2008

I hope I'm one of the 10%!

3rd year student: I don't know 90% of the people I talk to at Coffee Hour.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Hebrew Bible would be so different if everyone was heavily medicated

John Collins: What do you do when you hear God telling you to sacrifice your only son?
Student: Up your meds!

Overheard at: OT Interpretation

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

No comment

Student 1: My donkey's name was Michael Jackson.
Student 2 (quietly): That's what she said?
Student 1: That doesn't make sense!
Student 2: That's why I said it as a question.
Student 1: That's what she (raises voice) said?

Monday, September 15, 2008

Because babies aren't humans

Student 1: Have you heard [alumni] is going to have a baby?
Student 2: Yeah, I did!
Student 1: I can't believe she's going to have a real, live, human - not just a baby, but a human.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The nuns didn't swear?

Student: I don't know any curse words in Spanish... then again, I learned Spanish from nuns.

You're not Jerry Seinfeld, sorry

Student 1: ... And what's the deal with Lutherans? They're all like 'ooooo, Luther'.
Student 2: [Student 1], you're just anti-Lutheranitic.

Maybe not the most sensitive or accurate comment ever

Student: Don't go with any of your notes. Just say, "he he, look at me, I'm Justin Martyr" (pretends to stab himself)

Overheard: Common Room

Must be a bad night

Student (while attempting to skin a chicken): This chicken is NOT going gentle into that good night!

I think context is key here

Staff member (putting on lotion): You can never go to chapel with dry hands.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I don't really see the innuendo in that, but ok

(to other student)
Student: This tupperware is really small! ... And yes, I know, that's what she said.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Better to spread the word, once you've learned how to talk

Student: Assemblies of God ordains when you're a fetus.

Next time...

Student: (sigh) You can bring a div schooler to beer, but you can't make them dance.

Overheard: Community Dinner

Friday, September 12, 2008

Great Scott indeed!

Student: While taking a shower this morning I suddenly realized, ‘Great Scott! I’ve forgotten how to cantillate!’

Maybe it's the beard

Straight student: If I go to a gay bar, I get hit on two or three times. If I go to a straight bar, I get hit on like NEVER.

Overheard: Common Room

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Do what you have to, Ernestine

Ernestine: Am I doing grill tomorrow? We ran out today so if I am, that means I gotta come in early, I gotta pound, I gotta hammer...

Overheard: Refectory

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Herod did have the whole fall collection...

Jaime Lara: Herod was very influenced by the Greeks and Romans. He loved Gucci.

Overheard: House of the Lord

Good friends

Student 1 (female): Hey look, I can make sideburns with my hair, just like yours!

Student 2 (male): I've had these sideburns since forever... before college. (points to them) See, this one is Luther and this one is Erasmus!

And Radiohead

Student: Harry Attridge has a surprising amount of Sixpence None The Richer in his shared iTunes.

Theological pickup lines are my favorite

Student 1: So, when Abraham makes this covenant, he actually tells the guy to grab his testicles.

Student2: That would make a great theological pick-up line: “Hey baby, let’s make a covenant.”

Overheard at: OT

Monday, September 8, 2008

Plus they got to wear togas! I would wear a toga every day if I could.

Student 1: I think I would have much rather been a Greek than a Roman.
Student 2: But the Greeks were always killing each other!
Student 1: Yeah, but it was always so playful.

Overheard at: HGS

So dangerous, yet so delicious

First year MAR: I’m like a Ding Dong for people who are allergic to chocolate.

If you're anyone, I would also assume

First Year MAR: It’s amazing the things you can have sex with… if you’re a Roman Emperor.

I didn't know eHarmony had a mannish woman category

Student 1: eHarmony doesn't match men to men.
Student 2: You could find a mannish woman.
Student 1: Believe me, I've tried.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

They love you too!!!!!

Student 1: How was class?
Student 2: It was really good. Thought provoking, moving, interesting...
Student 3: All wrapped up in the package that is Jonathon Bonk.
Student 4: I love Mennonites!!!!!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

YDS is pretty passive-aggressive... at least until we get some drink in us. Then we're just aggressive.

YDS's Coffee Hour is famous over at Check it out.

: To avoid the appearance of self-promotion and a conflict of interest, those notes are from the Ghost of Coffee Hours Past (and the Ghost of Bookstores Present).

PPS: Donate coffee mugs! And then wash your own. Seriously. It's not that I'm mad... just that I'm disappointed.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Please tell me it's framed somewhere

(looking at poster online)
Student 1: I don't know; it's kinda expensive.
Student 2: How much is it?
Student 1: $35.
Student 2: Oh, that's totally worth it. That's how much I paid for my Paul Tillich Time cover reprint.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Not boring enough for you?

Student: Do you have the book Basic Christianity?
Second Temple Student: I don't think so... Is that theology?
Student: Yeah, on evangelical theology.
Second Temple Student: Nope, I don't have any books on that Jesus cult.

Hopefully not in a factory

(student points to "Made In Mexico" on another student's notebook)
Student: Just like you!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Susan Olson must loooove the Bible

Susan Olson: So what are you reading the Bible for?


(group of Bible/Second Temple students walk up)
Susan Olson: You're like a roving gang of Bible geeks!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Baden's more exclusive than Jesus, it seems

Student: Hey, is your course full?
Joel Baden: Well, I capped it at four...

Overheard: Common room

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Almost as good as OH in Minneapolis!

This week only: Overheard at the RNC

Check it out.

A lot of Irish accents in HB

(John Collins starts speaking)
Student: All prophets sound like Irishmen now, after Hebrew Bible.

Overheard at: Faculty-Student lunch

Good advice!

Student: I was sleeping on the couch for awhile, and [alumni] would go out at 2 in the morning, and I'd mumble, "make good choices!"

Monday, September 1, 2008

Oh, the inner shame.

(during discussion on the atmosphere in law school classrooms)
Student 1: Yeah, there's not a lot of public shaming at div school.
Student 2: It's mostly inner shame, really.